Daddy's Little Girl
by Zoe Asher
Summary: To others, she had everything. Then why did she feel so lacking? Sometimes, ignorance can push people off the edge. AH, AU. Rated M for a reason.
1. Preface

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Thank-yous to my beta VampyMusiK. You're the greatest. :)**

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><p><strong>Preface<strong>

_Renesmee_

I was four and my brother was five when one day Dad decided to take us out. I don't remember where Mom had been that day but I know she would have kicked my Dad's ass for taking us to the beach in the middle of November. For my brother and me it was the best day ever, though.

I still remember my awe and surprise when I saw the ocean for the first time. Dad often told me that he took me to see the ocean when I was three months old but I'd never counted it because I had no memory of it. Anyway, while Dad and my brother were running towards the cold water I stood there on the beach, worshipping the great sight in front of me.

I don't know where they came from but suddenly my cousins were there too with my Uncle Em who greeted me with his usual grin. While I stood there shivering he picked up his daughter and me and ran towards the sea so he could throw us in.

I remember the terror I felt at that exact moment. The water was ice cold and I couldn't swim. My limbs were frozen and I felt disoriented. My only thought was to find Dad and with that I screamed for him with everything I had only to have the salty water fill my lungs.

The moment Dad's arms wrapped around me I felt safe and protected. There isn't any other better feeling in the world than to feel your father's arms wrap around you and to know that for the moment you are there, you're safe. I was lucky enough to have that unlike many other girls who didn't have Dads.

I was also lucky enough to have a functional family. My mother was one of the kindest people I knew. She was so good that it was almost painful because she refused to see the bad in people who were damaged irrecoverably and often suffered from that but that was the reason why my Dad worshipped the ground she walked on.

My parents' marriage was something miraculous. They were only seventeen when they had my brother and eighteen when they had me but my brother and I hadn't felt unwanted. They made sure to say how much we were loved each day.

I also had a little sister Stacey who was the most perfect girl in the world. I was proud to be her relative because this thirteen year old miracle was a blessing in our family. Everyone loved her and spoiled her rotten but she was kind, nurturing and talented. I loved her with everything I had because she was truly wonderful.

And of course, I should mention my brother Anthony. Oh, he was so naïve and loving, that it was sickening! Just like Mom he refused to see the bad and lived with good traits, not noticing what a bitch of a girlfriend he had. A girlfriend who was slowly killing him and was planning to destroy our family by sinking her disgusting claws into his sensitive flesh. Literally and figuratively.

I should also remember my friends at school… Shelley and Monica who were the silliest blonde girls ever but I loved them like sisters. They were typical girls who cared only about their appearances and boys. They loved shopping and gossiping but they were fierce and loyal no matter what. They knew what 'girl code' meant unlike Edith.

I probably should be pissed at her but I can't. She was my sister not by blood but by heart. I loved her unconditionally and I would never have done things she did to me even though she probably regretted them. She wasn't cruel intentionally but she ripped a piece of my soul with her lies and secrets. I truly believed that we had no secrets when it came to one another…

But I probably shouldn't blame Edith. It was Jacob's fault. That fucker who broke my heart and completely broke me. He was going to pay for it – all of them were. Mia – that heinous bitch who thought she was so smart that she could fool my silly brother. And EJ – my cousin. If anything else hurt it was his stupid remarks about me and my appearance. If Edith broke my trust and Jacob broke my body then EJ broke my spirit.

They all deserved punishment and I hoped that God was gracious enough to give it to them. I knew I wasn't godsend or anything but they had to suffer just like I did. So this is my last prayer…

_Dear Lord,_

_You have seen what those sinners have done. They broke me, they broke my soul. I hope you are forgiving enough to understand why I had to do this. Please, Lord, give me strength to go through this. They deserved this and I deserved peace. I hope I won't burn in hell for this._

_Amen._

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading,<strong>

**Gintare.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Thank-yous to my beta VampyMusiK. You're the greatest. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

The loud ringing of alarm bells made Renesmee groan. She hated mornings, she hated waking up at an ungodly hour so she could prepare for another day at a school where nobody understood her. Where teachers pretended to understand kids' moodiness and where students showed their fake smiles, hiding their fucked up lives behind a façade.

She rolled over in her bed and reached for her alarm, hitting her hand on the end table accidentally. "Motherfucker!" She cussed, smashing the alarm and hurting her hand even more in process. The pain pulsed in her limb as she tried to hold in the howls of pain.

Someone banged on her room's door. "Nessie, stop cussing at home!" Her brother scolded. She hated when he did shit like that, acting all mature and so on. Anthony was a golden boy where'as she often felt like a disappointment. His grades were the best, his girlfriend was perfect and he even managed to be elected school body president which was just a cherry on a fucking cake he was baking.

She quickly rolled out of her bed, ignoring unpleasant feeling of blood rushing to her brain and tore the door open to glare at her brother.

"Stop calling me Nessie! Do I look like a fucking monster to you?"

He just looked at her with amusement in his eyes, which pissed her off even more. She pushed him harshly out of her way and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She heard him complaining and quickly swallowed the guilt that welled up in the corner of her heart. She had no compassion for her loser brother.

As usual it took her almost half an hour to comb through her frustrating hair. At those moments she silently cursed her father's domineering genes. She and her siblings had the most unmanageable hair ever and she would never do what her sister did and cut it short – she didn't want to look more like a boy than she already did with her fucking flat chest. Even her little sister had bigger boobs!

Finally she opened the door and her glare was met by her sister's gentle gaze. Renesmee loved her sister dearly and she couldn't help but smile softly at the beautiful girl in front of her. "Good morning, S."

Stacey beamed happily at her sister and leaned in to whisper. "I've got my period." She shared, glancing down the hallway so that Anthony wouldn't hear. Yes, their family was pretty modern but she didn't feel comfortable with her brother knowing those kind of things.

Renesmee smiled half-heartedly. "Good for you." She'd got her period very late and it was in the middle of PE which was totally humiliating and embarrassing. She ruffled her sister's hair and walked to her room to find something to wear.

It was the least favorite part of her morning. She was too skinny for her liking and hated that her bones were sticking out. Many people thought that she had an eating disorder and when she denied it they just looked at her as if she was mental.

In her head they could go fuck themselves but she still wore baggy clothes in order to hide her hideous body. She pulled out her clothing and without looking at the mirror she dressed up for the day.

"You're hideous little bitch, Renesmee." She whispered to herself, silently fuming at her mother for giving her such a stupid name. She knew close to nothing about her grandmother Renée and hated her mother for being so kind hearted.

Renesmee walked downstairs to the kitchen, ignoring the bunch of framed pictures on the walls of her and her siblings when they were little. She was happy then but now she felt miserable everyday and she didn't like that feeling at all.

"Good morning, baby." Mom greeted her with a smile on her ageless face. Renesmee hated that her mother was so cheerful when she felt so depressed inside. Just like any other morning she just frowned at her mom and sat down at the table in front of her father who watched his wife as if she was a goddess. Maybe for him she was.

Renesmee didn't even look what was for breakfast, she just ate it because it was expected of her. When her plate was empty she stood up to go, only to be stopped by her mother with a happy smile on her face. She wanted so bad to hit something for making her so happy.

"I packed you lunch. I remember how awful cafeteria food can be. Besides, this food will more likely help you to put on weight." Mom explained, practically bouncing with excitement. Renesmee never told her that she felt ugly but somehow her mother knew and it angered her.

She abruptly hit the bag of food, making it fall to the ground and shocking her parents with her outburst. "I don't need your fucking food!" She hissed, storming out of the kitchen. She heard her father's footsteps behind her and knew that she would never outrun him so she stopped and turned around, pressing her hands on her hips. "Don't fucking start! I haven't asked her to do anything!"

Her father was really angry – she could see it clearly in his green eyes. His nostrils flared and his face was reddeneding with anger. "You won't talk with your mother like that, Renesmee." He said in a deadly calm voice. That voice never meant good news. "She wants to help you to feel comfortable with your body."

"I feel comfortable!" She screamed, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes. They didn't understand her. They wanted her to be like her siblings – kind, caring, loving, smart, talented... She was none of those things and her parents did everything they could to change that. They didn't want a failure like her in the perfect Cullen family.

"You cann't talk with your mother like that." Her father repeated and outstretched his palm. "Give me your keys. Your brother is driving you to school for the rest of the school year."

She pushed her hand in her pocket and pulled out the set of keys, practically throwing them at her father and storming to garage where her brother parked his Volvo. It belonged to their father when he was their age but it was still shiny like new.

She didn't have to wait long for her siblings to emerge. As soon as Anthony unlocked the car she was in a passenger seat, putting on her seatbelt. Both Stacey and Anthony saw that she was pissed and knew better than try to talk with her but Anthony – ever the peace maker – had to speak.

"Why are you doing this to her? She's just trying to help." He murmured, starting the car. It was hard for him to feel for his sister but one thing he knew was that she was a beautiful person inside. He still remembered that careless little girl, playing with him all the time.

Renesmee squeezed her hands into fists. "Stop the car." She said in an emotionless voice. Anthony looked questionably at her but she just glared at him. "Stop the fucking car."

They had driven about a hundred meters so he thought she forgotten something but she got out the car and started walking in a direction of school, furious. She ignored her brother's attempts to get her climb back into the car. The last thing she needed was her loser brother lecturing her.

He drove behind her, begging her to get in the car uselessly until he had to turn so he could drop Stacey off at Middle School. She wanted to sigh in relief but she didn't because she didn't deserve relief.

Renesmee was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar car parked in the lot and moments later a little dark-haired girl threw herself at her, wrapping her into a tight hug. "I missed you!" The girl squealed, starting to tell about her vacation in Italy.

Edith was Renesmee's best friend and sister by heart. She looked exactly like Renesmee's aunt Alice in high school: petite, very short, crazy about fashion and awfully bubbly. She did everything she could to cheer Renesmee up at all times and normally Renesmee pretended to be happy just to appease her friend.

"Let's skip the first period!" Edith suggested enthusiastically. Renesmee just shrugged. She didn't care about school much and her car wasn't in the parking lot so no one was going to suspect that she skipped.

Edith was already dragging Renesmee to her car, when they passed Anthony driving into the lot, she waved enthusiastically. Anthony wasn't friends with Edith but she amused him with her overbearing personality so he acted friendly around her.

"When will you get over your crush on that loser?" Renesmee grumbled, putting on her seatbelt while Edith was humming some annoying pop song.

She looked confused and completely innocent when she looked at her best friend. "What crush? On whom? If I had a crush I would tell you."

Renesmee rolled her eyes at her friend. Sometimes she wondered why she was friends with this annoying girl. But she loved Edith and couldn't imagine life without her bubbly personality. "Anthony. You can stop hiding the truth, okay? I'm not angry or something. But he's my brother and I know him. He thinks he loves Mia and I'm sure he's going to insist they marry after graduation."

Edith's hands on the wheel tightened but she still smiled brightly. "Good for him. Not everyone can find their love at such a young age. Oh, have I told you about this guy Andrew I've met in Italy? He's fantastic in bed!"

Renesmee rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on her chest, half listening to Edith's adventures in Europe. She had wanted to visit Milan for so long and now that she had been there she was practically shaking with excitement to tell everything to her best friend.

"Have you been to Verona?" Renesmee asked, knowing very well that Edith was a romantic at heart and that Romeo and Juliet was her favorite play. She also knew that her friend dreamt of visiting Verona with her brother but she didn't see that happening any time soon because she wasn't taking any action.

"Yes!" She squealed. "It's as amazing as I thought! Who said that Paris is the city of love? It's Verona, definitely Verona! I can't imagine anything better than to spend your honeymoon in the city where Romeo and Juliet lived!"

"You do realize that Romeo and Juliet are fictional characters?" Renesmee raised her eyebrows. Edith's smile fell a little and she called her friend 'party pooper'. Renesmee just rolled her eyes. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

They arrived at the café they loved and for the rest of the hour they talked about everything and anything. Actually, Edith did the most of talking while Renesmee nodded and forced a smile. Everything seemed okay until she heard Edith mentioning Jacob's name.

"What did you say?" She asked, feeling the anger. Edith had never liked Jacob – Renesmee's boyfriend. She said that he was cheating on her, that he had anger management issues and that she deserved better than this boy.

"I said that there is rumor about Jacob sleeping with Leah." Edith said, feeling too much satisfaction out of this. She hated seeing Renesmee hurt and every day she prayed that her friend would break up with this mutt. What Renesmee didn't see was that Jacob disrespected and belittled her.

"Do you know for sure or are you listening to Janet again?" Renesmee asked, feeling anger inside of her. She hated arguing about Jacob but every time they talked, Edith managed to get back to this topic. Why was she pushing the issue when she knew that there was no way that Renesmee would break up with Jacob, without proof that he was what everyone said he was.

Edith hesitated. "Well, I personally haven't seen anything but Janet had photos…" She trailed, insinuating that Janet pictured the two of them fucking or at least making out. In reality, the photo only showed Leah's face clearly. The other person _could_be Jacob but not necessarily because Leah fucked everyone who was willing.

"I don't believe you." Renesmee deeply inhaled. Edith opened her mouth to argue but Renesmee glared at her. "Drop it."

Edith frowned before instantly smiling again. "Okay? Let's go back to school?"

They paid for their drinks and drove back to school where Jacob was standing next to his motorcycle. Renesmee loved driving his bike with him, she instantly smiled.

"Ugh." Edith rolled her eyes and frowned in distaste. "What does _he_want? Not only is he a cheating bastard but he also stalks you!"

Renesmee gritted her teeth. "I said drop it!"

They parked next to Jacob and Edith quickly got out. "I just don't understand what you see in him! He's an asshole not only to you but to me too! I'm your best friend! Doesn't my opinion matter, too?"

"You're not the one who's dating him, okay?" Renesmee yelled. "So stop sticking you fucking nose in my fucking business!" She had reached Jacob at that point. He looked confused but also concerned for his girlfriend. He knew that Edith didn't like him but he'd never understood why.

"Like fuck I will!" Edith yelled back. "I'm concerned about you! He's like a leech, sucking your soul! You think it's a conscience that you've become this bitter bitch after you two started dating? I want my friend back!"

Renesmee's eyes widened and she took in a deep breath to calm herself down. She felt Jacob's hands on her shoulders, rubbing them soothingly but she still felt the urge to rip Edith's eyeballs out. "This is who I am, Edith. Take it or leave it. I don't need another fucking mother."

"Well maybe _you_should call _me_ when you finally pull your head out of your ass!" She screamed, storming away in her three inch designer heels. For a moment Renesmee was jealous – she could never pull it off because she inherited her clumsiness from her mother.

"You've been fighting about me again?" Jacob asked hesitantly. He didn't like it when other people were angry at him because he got angry, too. And the last thing he wanted was for Renesmee to be hurt by him. Even if it was unintentional.

"She doesn't know you like I do." Renesmee answered in a calm voice but she felt like crying at that moment. Jacob pulled her into a hug and kissed her temple lovingly. She smiled despite everything and placed her head on his chest.

"Let's go to the beach." He suggested, stroking her hair. He loved her hair even though she despised its colour and unruliness. In his eyes, she looked like a princess – his princess.

Renesmee agreed eagerly and they hopped onto the bike, driving to the beach near his home. They walked down to the shore, holding hands and talking about everything except for the fight that just transpired between two best friends.

They walked into the forest near the ocean and towards the meadow where they laid on the grass, wrapped in an embrace. "Jake?" Renesmee asked tentatively, stroking his chest with her forefinger. "Tell me about your Mom."

Renesmee knew nothing about Sarah Black except for the fact that she was killed in car accident. Jacob didn't like talking about her but she felt that their relationship was strong enough to broach sensitive topics.

Jacob tensed and pulled away from her. "I don't want to talk about it."

She raised her head and turned on her side. "I thought you'd like to talk with me about it." She offered. "We've been dating for almost a year. You can trust me."

Jacob frowned, sitting up. "I said, I don't want to talk about it."

"But Jake-" Suddenly she felt a stinging pain on her left cheek. It took her several moments to realize that Jacob had just slapped her. She put her hand on her cheek in disbelief. No one had ever hit her and she was shaken to the core.

Jacob's eyes were almost black and they darted from side to side. He looked almost crazed. "I told you to drop it!" He shouted, standing up and tugging on his black hair. "Now look what you've done!"

She felt her eyes filling up with tears. "I just wanted for you to open up." She whispered, looking down at the ground. He kneeled in front of her and cupped her cheeks, gently stroking her left one with his thumb.

"I'm sorry." His eyes were filled with regret. "I lose my temper quickly, you know that." He leaned into her and kissed her gently. "I'm sorry" He whispered against her lips and pressed her into another kiss.

As always his kiss made her crave for his touch and she pressed herself into him. She's never had sex before because she wanted to wait until she was eighteen. She didn't want to have sex while she was jailbait.

Jacob wrapped his arms around her and laid her back on the ground, pressing himself onto her. Soon his kisses grew frantic and his hands lifted off her shirt, revealing her breasts covered in white bra.

"Jake." Renesmee tried to stop him but he kissed her again, shutting her up. "Jake." She tried again, squirming beneath him. "Stop." Jacob was staring at her chest in wonder and without her permission he unclasped her bra.

"You're beautiful." He whispered in awe. Renesmee was uncomfortable. She knew her breasts were shamefully small and at any other time she would have felt pretty under Jacob's gaze but now his stare was almost scary.

He latched onto her nipple and bit it painfully, making her cry in pain. "Jake! Stop! Please!" She begged, tugging on his hair, trying to pull him away but he took it as invitation and started pinching her other breast.

She thrashed in his arms but he was too strong for her. He unbuttoned her jeans, ignoring her screams and pleas. She cried and slapped him but Jacob wasn't fazed at all. It seemed as if he was in his own world where Renesmee was doing this willingly.

A horrible realization crashed down on her as she realized that he wasn't going to stop. She was going to lose her virginity in the worst way possible and it would hurt even more because it was a boy she cared about a lot. She just hasn't been ready yet.

He unbuckled his belt, pulled down his jeans and underwear all the while pining her down to the ground. She was still whimpering, begging him to snap out of the daze that he was in but she knew she was fighting a lost battle.

She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on anything but the body pressed up against her. She felt the rough texture of grass underneath her and the wind caressing her tear stained cheeks. She imagined that she was in Forks with her grandpa Charlie, catching fish and laughing at his awful jokes.

The illusion seemed to work until she felt the unspeakable pain of her hymen being ripped forcefully. She was thrown back to the meadow and cried when she heard Jacob's grunts and felt his forceful pushes. She counted till ninety five when he finally reached his climax and spilled his seed inside of her, collapsing onto her and panting heavily.

Not long after that his breath evened out and she realized that he fell asleep. She pushed him away from her and with trembling hands she found her cell phone, dialing the number of the one person who would understand her at that moment.

She answered on the third ring with a cheerful hello.

Renesmee choked on her tears. "Aunt Rose, please help me."

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><p><strong>The next chapter will be published as soon as my beta will proofread it! :) Thank you for reading,<strong>

**Gintare.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Thank-yous to my beta VampyMusiK. You're the greatest. :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

She was on the verge of falling asleep and let a sigh of relief when someone knocked on her door. She didn't want to fall asleep because she had nightmares about _him_. The door opened and her cousin EJ stepped in with a devilish grin on his face.

Renesmee felt dread in the pit of her stomach and now she wished for sleep to take over her. EJ was worse than any nightmare could ever be. She turned around to face the opposite direction, showing him that she didn't want his presence near her.

"Aw, c'mon cousin!" He moaned. "I'm not that bad."

"You're worse." She mumbled but EJ heard her loud and clear. He sat on her bed and turned her around with one hand. EJ was as big as his father and maybe even stronger than him so it was nothing for him to roll Renesmee's light body around.

"So I've heard about the rape." He laughed but she wanted to cry. The flashbacks of that awful experience flashed in front of her eyes and one tear rolled down her cheek. It made EJ laugh even harder.

"How can you joke about that?" She whispered pain evident in her voice. "He took my virginity. He violated me." She felt dirty, unworthy, ugly. When her father wanted to pick her to carry her to her room she had a flashback, thinking that he was the rapist.

EJ snorted, standing up and walking towards the shelf where she held her little trophies she got when she attended art school. "It's not like you haven't asked it."

Her eyes widened and her heart beat harder. "What do you mean? He _raped_me, EJ. He forced himself on me."

EJ glared at her. "Oh, of course! Because you're the victim here, Renesmee! He has bipolar disorder and you haven't seen it even though you've been dating for a year! You should've known better than go there with him alone!"

Renesmee couldn't believe that he was talking like that. Maybe EJ had a mental disease, too? "How can you say that? I'm sixteen. I don't know what bipolar disorder means! Why is it was my fault? His family hasn't seen it, too…"

"Because he loves you." EJ spat hatefully. "I don't know why because you're not worthy of love. You're just a little whore, Renesmee. I'm ashamed to call you my relative."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she screamed. "How can you be so cruel? Why are you telling this shit to me? I've just been raped, EJ!" She was almost hysterical and felt as if she might collapse from exhaustion at any moment.

EJ was staring at her coldly, probably even enjoying her pain. Suddenly the door flew open, revealing Renesmee's parents. Their eyes were instantly on Renesmee and her mother's hands instantly caressed her cheeks. "Sweetie, what's wrong? What's happened?"

She gasped for air as she tried to talk. "Get him out of here!" She yelled, pointing at EJ. "He said… He said…" Her chest was constricted and she felt the air leaving her lungs. Her brother showed up from somewhere and escorted EJ from her room while her father prepared syringe with sedatives. He sank it in her thigh and in a moment she calmed down, feeling the sleepiness take over.

The next morning she was aware of someone's presence in her room. It was so unexpected that she jumped up and fell from the bed. Her father was instantly by her side, helping her to climb back to the bed. "I'm sorry I startled you." He apologized. "Your mother wanted to know if you feel like going to school."

She thought for a moment about whispers and stares and shook her head no. She wasn't ready to deal with questions that were inevitable. Shelley and Monica will want to know what's happened as well as Edith and she couldn't face them.

Her father asked several other questions, explained that Mom had taken the rest of the week off and if she needed anything she just had to call her. She nodded, not really listening but when he kissed her forehead lovingly she relaxed and let herself to feel safe in her father's presence.

"We love you, sweetie." He assured her and left for work. She knew that he needed to work but now more than ever she wanted him to stay. She didn't know if Mom was still angry about the way she had talked with her yesterday and she was afraid to be alone with a hostile person.

Her fears were void however because her mother coddled her like a baby and did everything she could so that Renesmee would be comfortable. The only thing she needed was to talk with her daughter but she avoided it by thinking of a million chores she needed to do and leaving Renesmee alone for the most of the day.

She was happier when her siblings came home and even relished her brother's company. He talked about student meetings, chess club and his plans for weekend while Stacey talked about her day, about cello lessons and her new compositions. Those conversations helped her to feel a bit normal but as soon as she was left alone dark thoughts found their way in Renesmee's head.

She still felt dirty and EJ's words still rang in her head. Deep in her heart she knew that he was right. She _wasn't_worthy of love but she craved it. She should've seen that Jacob was different. Hell, even Edith had seen it! She should have helped him… It was her fault. But she still couldn't shake the feeling of being used, of feeling disgusting.

When her father came back she could feel that the mood lifted. She felt the safest when he was around and the way he was looking at her – concerned and loving – made her happier. With the utmost interest she listened to his stories about his patients and surgeries he had to do.

He brought her supper and they both talked while they ate. Her mother walked in and out, not staying in the room for too long. Finally, Renesmee sighed and asked her father about it.

He ran his hand through his bronze locks. "She doesn't know what to say to you so she wouldn't set you off. The last thing she wants is for you to be upset. She tries to show that she cares by making sure you're comfortable but it doesn't help much, does it?"

She shook her head sadly. Even her mother is disgusted with her. After that she lost her appetite and refused to talk with Dad until he sighed, kissed her forehead and left, leaving her door open just in case she had a nightmare.

On Sunday morning her Dad came in with a bright smile on his face but Renesmee could see that it was just a façade. She was worrying him and he looked exhausted. "Will you join us today? Your grandparents are coming. Alice and Jasper, too."

"Do they know?" Renesmee asked quietly, not meeting his eyes.

"They are family." He replied, confirming that yes, they knew. Even Whitlocks. Because they were family, too even though they were not related by blood. She wasn't worried about Jasper's reaction but Alice scared her because she was so alike to Edith. If Alice didn't understand it meant that Edith wouldn't, too.

Uncle Emmett's booming laughter reached them and she cringed. "EJ is here?" She wasn't ready to face him. She was sure she'd break down if she had to listen to another tirade of his.

"No. He has something planned." Dad explained, taking her hand. "Please come down. They're worried."

Renesmee swallowed hardly but nodded, looking away. She had to contain the tears. She didn't deserve their love. They were concerned about her and she didn't deserve it. What had she done to deserve it? Nothing. She insulted her mother the same day she was attacked. It was God's way to punish her.

He kissed her forehead, pulled the sheets away and helped her to get out of the bed. It wasn't that she needed help because she could manage just fine but she cherished the feeling of being cared about. She wrapped herself in a fluffy robe her grandparents had gave her on Christmas.

She was dressed in her 'comfort' clothes as Aunt Rose called them but the only comfort she got was from her father who made sure to have his arms wrapped around her as much as possible, feeling that she needed the safety only he could give her.

As soon as she was downstairs she was enveloped in Aunt Rose's arms. "I'm so sorry for EJ." She whispered and Renesmee felt tears on her neck. "I can't imagine how awful you must have felt."

_Still feeling,_she wanted to tell her but only forced a forgiving smile and turned to hug her cousins Lexie and Kaitlin. Even little Zack embraced her even though he probably the only thing he knew was that 'someone hurt cousin Renesmee'. Uncle Emmett apologized, too and lifted her in a bear hug which made her feel safe and loved. She was jealous of Lexie and Kaitlin – they had a bear of a Dad and never had to fear for anything.

She was surprised to see Grandpa Charlie and sobbed loudly when he hugged her to his chest. He was her protector as much as Dad and she grieved that they couldn't protect her that day.

When everyone had offered their love and comfort to her they sat down to eat breakfast and Alice tried to bring as much normalcy as she could by chatting about her newest collection. Mom and Aunt Rose commented from time to time. Everyone else found a topic to talk about too, except for Renesmee who stared at her plate dejectedly and Lexie who watched her cousin.

"Want to grab a smoke?" She whispered so adults wouldn't hear. Renesmee was surprised but nodded. She didn't smoke but she liked keeping Lexie company. The girls stood up and others duly noted their departure from the table but let them be, hoping that Lexie could make her cousin open up.

They walked to the backyard and Lexie pulled out her cigs, lighting up one. As usual, she offered one to Renesmee but she just shook her head and curled onto the porch swings. Lexie exhaled the smoke and looked at Renesmee hardly.

"Wanna talk?" She offered. Renesmee only shook her head and she shrugged. If she wanted to keep that shit inside of her for as long as she could. There was no way she was pressing her like EJ did. Sure, he wanted to make her feel better but he just fucked with her head.

"So, what's up?" She asked, trying to change the topic. Renesmee knew that she wasn't talking about the accident so she relaxed and started telling her about school, Edith's trip to Italy and other things that happened since the last time they've met.

"Tony said that there's a new kid at your school." Lexie said, watching Renesmee's face closely. She wanted her cousin to feel better and thought that maybe some romance can cheer her up. Of course, she wasn't ready for the whole deal but she could have some innocent fun like flirting.

Renesmee shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't been at school for a week. Maybe he or she was transferred while I was gone."

They sat in silence after that before Lexie spoke. "Look, Ren, maybe you want to try therapy or some shit like that?" She'd heard about the wonders shrinks could do but in reality she thought that they just brainwashed their patients so that they would forget what's happened.

Renesmee didn't want to argue with her favorite cousin but she couldn't help but scoff. "Therapy." She mocked. "You think that I'm mental or something? Well, your brother made it very clear that it was_Jacob_who was fucked up in his head."

Lexie took a smoke from her cigarette. "My brother said many things. He fucked you up more than this Jacob jerk and I think that you need… _assistance_ in dealing with this." She wanted to say 'help' but it would have sounded as if she really was mental so Lexie decided to be diplomatic.

"Are my parents paying you for trying to convince me?" Renesmee laughed. "You know shit about what I'm going through."

Lexie shot a look at her. "Look, my Mom was raped, too. She went to therapy and she's happy now. Anyways, it was just a suggestion and no, your parents haven't paid me. I'm concerned. Everyone is. We just want to bring you back, okay? Even before you were… _violated_ you've been a moody bitch."

"Then why are you dealing with my moody ass?" Renesmee screamed. "This is who I am, okay? I'm not perfect! I'm not Anthony or Stacey! I'm Renesmee and you'll have to deal that you have a pathetic cousin!"

Lexie snorted and started laughing loudly. "Sit the fuck down." She ordered. Renesmee was still angry. It wasn't funny. Whereas her brother found her pathetic, his sister found her crazy. This was getting better and better.

"Jeesh, you think _I'm_ perfect? Dad is grounding my ass every month and you think I care? He says all the time what a disappointment I am. And am I crying about it? Your parents love you for who you are unlike mine. Get your head out of your ass for crying out loud!" Lexie rolled her eyes. She was a badass and she rebelled against her parents. Her brother loved attention and she loved stealing it from him by breaking the rules he dutifully obeyed.

Renesmee was tired. Why did these people see her for someone she wasn't? Maybe before she was happy and careless but she wasn't anymore. She couldn't be happy. She didn't deserve it. She took one look at her cousin who was still smirking about something and left her alone on the porch.

She refused to meet anyone's eye as she walked past the living room and up the stairs straight to her room. She could have been lying on her bed for hours or minutes – she didn't know – until she felt someone lying beside her and inhaled the sweet fragrance of her mother.

She turned on her side to face her. They had the same eyes, the chocolate brown that Dad loved. Mom gently stroked her hair until tears started rolling down Renesmee's cheeks. She pressed her face to her chest and relished the feeling of her soft caresses. Just like that, she cried herself to sleep.

In the morning Stacey jumped on her bed excited. Renesmee wanted to laugh but the amusement never came. "What are you doing? You have school today." She scolded her little sister. Stacey giggled and crawled up to lay next to Renesmee.

"Nope. Today I don't." She smiled, turning her head to grin at her sister. They started talking about Stacey's music lessons when their parents walked in. They shooed their younger daughter away and Dad closed the door behind him.

Mom sat on the bed and took Renesmee's hand. "Sweetie, we talked with Aunt Rose about your… situation." She trailed, glancing at Dad and seeking for help.

He cleared his throat and sat on the other side of the bed. "We think you should see someone in order to deal with your experience."

This time instead of just being annoyed she was furious. "I don't need a damn therapist!" She screamed, pushing away her parents' hands harshly. "I'm fine, okay? I'll go to school tomorrow and you'll see how fine I am! Yes, I was raped but it wasn't like he planned it!"

Dad's hands tightened in fists and his face darkened with fury. "He's a sick bastard and I'll make sure he doesn't get near you."

Renesmee's heart sank at her father's words. She knew that what Jacob did was unforgivable but she still had feelings for him and just because he was ill didn't mean that those feelings suddenly disappeared. She wanted to take care of him and get over this accident but maybe for now it was for the best that he was away from her.

Her voice was barely a whisper when she talked. "If he tried to apologize tell me, okay?" Her parents stared at her for a long time before her mother nodded, kissed her forehead and motioned for her husband to leave.

As soon as she was alone she jumped from her bed, took the first thing she could reach which was a bedside lamp and threw it at the wall, shattering it into pieces. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she heaved heavily. She slid down on the ground, put her fist into her mouth and screamed silently. Her silent sobs were wracking through her body as she replayed horrible memories in her head.

She couldn't believe that she still wanted to be with that terrible man.


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Thank-yous to my beta VampyMusiK. You're the greatest. :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

She was barely awake when her brother parked the car in the school's parking lot. Everyone stared at them and she wondered how the fuck those people knew what had happened in this big city. This surely wasn't like Forks but the gossip had spread as fast if not sooner.

Ever the gentleman Anthony opened the door for his sister and helped her out. She wasn't grumbling as usual at his gentlemanly ways. Actually, she was feeling numb – she didn't have any energy to be angry at the world. Her relationship with her brother was still the same if not worse because now she didn't bother to tell him a word which hurt Anthony's feelings a lot more.

A skinny girl who looked like she belonged with Middle Schoolers practically skipped to Anthony's side and wrapped her arms around his waist, reaching for the kiss. She had dirty blonde hair and dressed very modestly but in reality she just looked like a little girl trying to act like an adult. Her name was Mia and she had been Anthony's girlfriend since they were fifteen.

Renesmee scoffed at them and turned away to go to her first period but she bumped into a hard body. She hadn't even heard someone approaching. The person's hands grabbed her shoulders so she wouldn't fall.

"Whoa!" He laughed, steadying her. "Are you alright?"

She raised an eyebrow, glaring at him. "Do I look fucking alright to you?"

He, however, looked more than alright. He was downright handsome. Very tall, with a snow-white smile, long hair, tied back into ponytail and warm brown eyes. In many ways she could say that he looked like Jacob but their features were absolutely different. Jacob looked like Native American whereas this guy was from south Brazil, maybe even Spain.

"Hey, Niguel!" Anthony greeted the guy who still had his arms on her shoulders. Renesmee's brother gently pried her off of him and pulled her to his side. "This is my baby sister Renesmee." He introduced the two, giving a warning glance to the new kid. Anthony saw the way he was staring at his sister and the last thing she needed was another guy pursuing her.

Niguel understood that this girl, no matter how beautiful she was, was off limits so he smiled at her friendly, offering his hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm an exchange student from Brazil."

"He's a junior just like me and Tony." Mia gushed, holding Anthony's hand tightly. She was pressed against his arm like a leech and Renesmee only sneered at her in answer.

"Yeah…" She rolled her eyes and quickly walked away but Niguel followed her, making the annoyance inside of her grow. She ignored his presence as long as possible until a very excited Monica miraculously appeared in front of her.

"Rennie!" She exclaimed, hugging her friend. "We've missed you, hon!" Her blonde hair pressed uncomfortably against Renesmee's cheek so she pushed her away as gently as possible so as not to hurt her feelings.

"I've missed you, too." She replied and even though she looked sad and miserable Monica could tell that she was being sincere. Renesmee truly missed her friends and smiled when she saw Shelley and her boyfriend Ron coming towards them.

Shelley and Monica were like two peas in a pot but the difference between them was that Monica was a rather smart girl while Shelley was a real airhead. It was weird, considering that Monica's parents were Mike and Jessica Newtons who were the densest people Renesmee had ever known. Shelley's parents however were Angela and Ben Cheney – a very smart and very successful pair. Angela was one of Renesmee's mother's co-workers.

"How do you feel, sweetie?" Shelley asked looking worried which was unlikely for her. "You could use a day at the spa."

Renesmee couldn't help but laugh because the statement was just _so_Shelley. They hugged tightly and even Ron offered her a hug even though they weren't close. As long as she remembered Ron had been around. At first as Shelley's friend, then as her boyfriend, later as her ex but now they were together again.

"Well…" Monica trailed, looking expectantly at her friend. "Introduce us to your companion." Her eyes were slightly darker from lust and Renesmee had to frown. For some reason she felt protective of this guy and she didn't like that Monica was looking at him like he was a piece of meat.

"This is Niguel and I've just met him." She said in a monotonous voice. "I have to go to class." She said dryly, leaving the four of them alone. For the first time she wanted to get to the class on time. She wasn't skipping any lessons from now on. She couldn't afford to fall behind. At least it was what she had said to herself.

Renesmee was relieved that she hadn't met Edith yet. She was still pissed at her friend but the worst thing was that she hated that Edith was right. She should have listened to her friend before this happened. Renesmee wasn't going to admit her fault and she certainly wasn't going to tell Edith what had happened.

That was the reason why she had decided to go to the library instead of cafeteria when lunch break started. What she didn't expect to find there was Niguel, reading intently in the corner. His eyebrows were scrunched and she had to admit that he looked cute while he was doing that.

She silently sat next to him and watched him reading the book. She was a bit startled when he spoke. "You do realize that it's creepy to stare at people like that?"

She didn't smile but she felt the amusement in the pit of her belly. "I'm sorry. What are you reading?"

Instead of answering he lifted the book and showed her the cover. She couldn't help but laugh at _that._ "Gossip Girl? Seriously?"

Niguel shrugged. "I was curious." He was silent for a few moments before he added. "Monica suggested this. Hey! Don't roll your eyes at me! Have you even read it?"

She snorted. "No. But Monica forced me to watch the whole season of series based on that book. There's probably nothing worse than that. Talk about drama, you know?"

"Fine." He said, closing the book and pushing it away. "What do you suggest?"

She's never been self-conscious when it came to her personality but now she was embarrassed by her lack of enthusiasm when it came to reading. Her mother had tried to plant the love for literature but her efforts were in vain as Renesmee had never read the books she wasn't forced to read.

"I don't read." She confessed, looking away.

He was surprised. "Well, why are you here of all places?" When she didn't answer he chuckled. "Oh, I know. You're hiding from someone. Hm… Who is it? Your boyfriend?"

The word boyfriend made her flinch. She stood up abruptly, turned on her heel and left the library without a word, heading straight to girls' bathroom. Unfortunately, Edith was also there.

She smiled widely and came to hug Renesmee. "Hey there! I've started to think you were avoiding me!" She giggled. "So, where have you been? I've tried to talk with Tony but he said it was your story to tell."

"I've broke up with Jake." Renesmee said in a dead voice but Edith seemed not to notice. Her smile widened even more and she squealed in excitement, hugging Renesmee even tighter.

"About damn time! Is this why you were absent? You were celebrating?" She asked, practically bouncing. Renesmee stared at her friend blankly and wondered if she was acting or if she really was that stupid not to notice how much pain it caused for Renesmee.

As if reading her mind, Edith's expression softened. "Aw, darling, you know it was for the best. He wasn't good for you. You deserve so much better and now that you're Jacob-free we're going to celebrate properly!"

Without giving any warning, Edith grabbed Renesmee's hand and dragged her out of the bathroom where was standing a worried Niguel. "Are you alright?" He asked wide-eyed. The last thing he wanted was to insult her unintentionally.

"Is she alright?" Edith grinned. "She's fan-fucking-tastic! She finally broke up with her jackass boyfriend! And whoever you are, you're invited to celebrate with us after school!" She practically sang it to him. "Let's go! We have to tell Shelley and Monica!"

Renesmee pulled her hand away from Edith's grasp and glared at her. "No! I don't want to celebrate, okay? There's nothing to celebrate! I love him, okay? It's not easy to deal with and you don't even know the whole fucking story! Yes, you're fucking happy that he's gone but that means that you're ecstatic that I'm miserable! What a good fucking friend you are, aren't you?"

Edith's mouth popped open in surprise. Then her eyes narrowed and she put her hands on her hips. "So it was _him_ who broke up with _you_? Look, it's really for the best and no, I'm not ecstatic that you're miserable. He's an asshole and like I said you deserve better. Why do you need a cheating bastard, anyways?"

"He wasn't cheating on me!" Renesmee screamed. "You've heard some fucking rumor and you've believed it! Why couldn't you trust _my_judgment? It's your fucking fault that this happened!"

"My fault?" Edith's voice rose up. "You can't blame me about your fucked up relationship. It's certainly not my fault that you can't make your relationship work!"

"How can I make it work if you always stick your fucking nose in my fucking business?" Renesmee felt a little lightheaded but she needed to get it out. She knew that after this argument she'd probably lose her best friend but she wasn't going to be blamed for something that wasn't her fault. "You were so jealous that I had a boyfriend that you did everything to ruin it! Well, guess what? You've succeeded!"

"Fucking fine with me!" Edith yelled. "I don't understand what the fuck is wrong with you! One day you're awesome and funny and the next day you're dating that prick, brooding all the time and refusing to spend time with me or any of your friends! What's happened to my best friend because this monster in front of me isn't her!"

"I don't know!" Renesmee screamed, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks. She seemed to be doing a whole lot of crying as of lately. "Why can't you be my friend no matter what? Why can't you love me as I am? Why you want to change me?"

"Oh, fuck you!" Edith shouted. "You know damn well that I'm not trying to change you. It's you who did the changing. I don't need such a bitch of a friend!"

Edith turned around to leave but Renesmee couldn't leave this argument without having the last word so she added the last painful whip. "Just so you know, Anthony will never look at you that way. He doesn't even see you as a female."

Edith felt her bottom lip quivering but she refused to cry in front of her ex-best-friend. Instead she continued walking, squeezing her hands into fists by her sides. On her way she walked past very worried Anthony who stopped her by grabbing her wrist. At that moment she wanted to throw herself at him but she noticed his girlfriend besides him and controlled herself.

"Yes?" She asked acidly. Anthony looked a bit taken aback by her tone but he quickly composed himself.

"Where's Nessie?" He asked urgently. He noticed that she wasn't in cafeteria at lunch and got worried. He had no idea what she might have done while she wasn't under supervision.

Edith's eyes hardened and she gestured behind her, resuming her walking. Anthony was a little confused by her cold demeanor but quickly brushed it off and focused on finding his sister.

Renesmee hadn't realized that she was shaking until Niguel pulled her into his embrace and rubbed her soothingly, whispering in her ear to calm down. She didn't want to calm down. She wanted to hunt Edith down and make her listen to everything she had to say.

Suddenly she was ripped from Niguel's embrace and into her brother's arms who was hollering at everyone to explain what's happened. While Niguel silently told the story she sobbed into her brother's chest, fisting his shirt.

"I'll drive you home." He stated after he heard the story. He was still confused why Edith and Renesmee who were thick as thieves would get into such an argument. Maybe their friendship wasn't as strong as it seemed but maybe – and he thought about it very carefully – Edith was right. Renesmee _had_changed and no one understood why.

His parents thought it was adolescence and everyone believed them but now her problems seemed more serious than teenage hormones. He drove his weeping sister to hospital where he knew his father was going to be without a dought. He was surprised that she hadn't put up a fight but when he looked closer at Renesmee he realized that maybe she didn't have any energy to fight and it scared him a lot.

Fortunately, when they got there Carmen – one of the pediatricians and a good friend of Dad's, was at reception. Her eyes widened when she took in Renesmee's shaking form and she was instantly by her side, calming her down.

"Page Dr. Cullen." She barked an order to one of the nurses nearby. Moments later their father showed up and he instantly had Renesmee in his arms. She was now a lot calmer.

"What's happened?" He asked Anthony and his son told the story he's heard from Niguel. By the time he'd finished Renesmee was absolutely fine except for several hiccups that appeared after crying so much.

"Take the rest of the day off, okay sweetie?" Dad told her, kissing her forehead softly and rocking her in his arms, humming a familiar tune in her ear until she fell asleep.

Renesmee noticed that the fight affected other people, too. Shelley and Monica were torn between the two of them. The two of them were really close and it was hard for them when they decided that they were going to stay with Edith. Not because they thought that Edith was right when the fight transpired but because Edith was more popular than Renesmee who now was considered a nutcase.

However instead of being friendless, Renesmee gained new friends – Niguel and surprisingly Mia who appeared to be friendlier when she saw how much Anthony cared about his sister. Renesmee still wasn't very fond of her brother's girlfriend but now she was tolerable.

Niguel though proved to be a very trustworthy person. Every day he was at her side, questioning her about her life and opinions. He made her laugh when she was sad and comforted her when she was crying. He didn't know the whole story about Jacob but every time he wrapped his arms around her in comfort she felt as if deep in his heart he knew. And it was good enough, for now.

After several weeks of their friendship she found herself in higher spirits. She hadn't felt so light in a long time and she relished the feeling. Every day her parents tried to convince her to see therapist and every time it ended with her throwing another thing at the wall and crying herself to exhaustion.

She wasn't sleeping and she barely ate but every morning she woke up with an excited feeling in her stomach. She knew that she was looking forward to seeing Niguel who had become the ray of sunshine in her world of darkness.

"Rennie! Someone's here to see you!" Her mother's voice reached her from downstairs. She was confused because she didn't expect anyone. She still was in her pajamas and lay in her bed, pretending to sleep. Even her parents hadn't believed her act.

She walked downstairs and was dumbfounded when she saw Niguel in the hallway, joking with her father. She even rubbed her eyes with her fists to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "What are you doing here?"

The two of them turned to look at her with huge smiles. Niguel walked closer to hug her in greeting. "Go get ready! We're going out!"

He seemed so enthusiastic that she couldn't help but smile sadly at his efforts to cheer her up. She couldn't disappoint him however so she dashed upstairs and got ready in record time. It wasn't like she wanted to impress him so she dressed up like she would if she was going out with Anthony. Not that it ever happened.

She walked downstairs and saw that Anthony had joined them. As soon as she reached the surface, Niguel grabbed her arm and dragged her outside. She was surprised that she hadn't heard her father telling them to be safe but on the other hand he probably had already threatened Niguel to keep her safe.

"Where are we going?" She asked curiously. Niguel was practically bouncing in his seat with excitement, beaming happily at her.

"It's a surprise." He said mysteriously. "And I promise you'll like it."

"Okay." Renesmee agreed tentatively. She knew that her mother hated surprises and that her Dad liked surprising her but she didn't mind it. She could be patient if needed and they weren't rushing anywhere.

When they parked into the lot she couldn't help but laugh. "A mall? Are you sure you aren't gay?"

He didn't even act offended instead laughing at her joke. "Yes, I'm very sure. We're here because one, you're going to get a haircut and two, we're going to make sure you have visited a bookstore at least once."

She frowned. "Ha, ha. I've been to bookstore before. And why do I need a haircut? Haven't I told you that I love my hair?" She said, fingering one of her bronze locks.

His eyes were fixated on her fingers as he smiled fondly. "I love you hair, too but from what I understand you've gone through a painful breakup and the best remedy is to get a new haircut! New perspective and all."

She snorted. "You do realize that you've sounded absolutely gay right now?"

"Stop ruining my fun!" He complained. "Let's go!"

They visited the hairdresser's first where Renesmee cut her hair off short. When Niguel told the hairdresser to do it she wanted to stand up and claw his eyes out but the hairstylist assured her that it was going to look awesome so she relaxed and let him do his job.

After he was done Renesmee was shocked. For the first time in her life she actually felt pretty when she looked at her reflection. Yes, she still looked exhausted with dark circles around her eyes but instead of drowning and hiding under her hair now she was shining through.

When the tears formed in her eyes the hairdresser frowned worriedly. "You don't like it?"

Renesmee shook her head and choked. "It's perfect."


	5. Chapter 4

**Finally finally it's here! Thanks goes to my beta VampyMusiK.**

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

The last thing she expected that afternoon was to see her ex-best-friend standing by her locker with a sadistic smile on her face. School was out and Renesmee just had to put away her things so she could go home. Her father gave her car back and now she was driving to and from school on her own.

Edith's malicious smile widened when she saw Renesmee's eyes widen. She could practically smell her fear and she reveled in it. She was going to make her suffer, that's for sure and this bitch deserved it.

"What are you doing here?" Renesmee asked but she couldn't control the tremble in her voice. She took a tentative step towards her locker and felt the panic rising in her chest when Edith stayed glued to her spot.

After their fight Renesmee avoided Edith at all costs, not wanting the confrontation that was inevitable. She knew that Edith wanted to hurt her but she didn't want to be hurt. However, she knew this girl well enough to know that she wasn't going to give up easily.

"It's a free country, isn't it?" Edith sneered. She waited for Renesmee to come closer but it seemed that she wasn't moving from her spot so she sighed dramatically. "I wanted to talk."

"About?" Renesmee was instantly suspicious. This couldn't be good. Edith knew all her secrets but this couldn't be the case because Renesmee knew everything about Edith. She wouldn't risk it.

"About what a bitch you are." Edith pushed away from the lockers and walked to stand chest to chest with the other girl. It was easier because she wore three inch heels and she was a lot shorter than Renesmee. "You say that Anthony won't look at me but you'll see how much of a woman I can be."

Renesmee was confused why she was telling her this but she listened nonetheless. She had to admit that recently Edith's style changed. She started wearing short dresses, skin tight jeans and tank tops, high heels and a ton of makeup. She also did everything to attract attention to her, mainly picking up verbal fights only for Anthony to break them up.

"I see that you've become buddies with Mia." Edith spat Anthony's girlfriend's name. "You can tell her that she's going down."

Renesmee sucked in a breath. "Ants will never leave Mia." She said with conviction in her voice. Mia was Anthony's first love. He idolized her and for him she was an angel fallen from heaven. He would never leave her for his little sister's ex-best-friend. "Not after what you did to me. Blood is thicker than water, you know that."

Edith grinned devilishly. "Yeah? All of those things were true. I know that, he knows that. Hell, everyone knows that! You're the only one who can't see the glaringly obvious truth."

Tears started forming in her eyes. "You're wrong. Anthony would never think those things about me. He loves me."

She laughed cruelly. "I don't doubt he does. But I'm sure that if you weren't his sister he'd think you belong to mental hospital as well. You're just a fucking little emo bitch."

She hadn't realized that she slapped Edith until she saw her cheek reddening. Her hand tingled from the impact with her flesh and her eyes widened. Several tears rolled down her cheeks and she turned around to run to the parking lot. There were only three cars left – hers, Edith's and Niguel's.

He was waiting for her with his hands in his pockets and his eyes widened when he saw that she was crying. In a few strides he was in front of her, pulling her into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around him and shook with heart wrenching sobs while he tried to soothe her.

In the distance he saw Edith storming out of school. The black haired girl glared hatefully at the pair and got into her car, practically racing out of the lot. "What has she done?" Niguel demanded, tightening his hold on her when her wailing got louder.

She looked up with watery eyes. "Nothing. She's just said a lot of bad things about my family… and me." She added the last part very quietly and looked down.

Niguel cupped her cheeks lovingly and stroked her cheekbones. "Don't listen to what she said. She's just jealous because she'll never be as beautiful as you are. She's just a hateful bitch and you're… Damn, you're the loveliest person in this school if not the entire city. I mean it."

She forced a smile, knowing fully that he lied for the sake of her calmness. She knew that she wasn't beautiful or lovely. She didn't deserve the love she craved and she certainly didn't deserve Niguel's compliments.

"I'm an ugly person." She said in a tight voice. "Inside and outside."

Niguel's eyes clouded with anger. "Don't say that!" He yelled, making her flinch. "You're beautiful." He said in a much softer voice. "Why would I lie, Rennie? You're the sweetest person I've ever known. Really."

In his eyes she saw that he was genuine. She felt flattered but confused at the same time. His words were more than friendly. A friend wouldn't tell them with such emotion, a lover would. She was still looking for answers in his eyes when he leaned in.

"I'm going to kiss you right now." He warned and for some reason she hadn't pulled away. Instead she closed her eyes and waited for his lips to connect with hers.

It was almost magical when it happened. The kiss was soft and sweet so he deepened it by licking her lower lip with his tongue. As soon as he did that she froze. It wasn't Niguel's mouth on her anymore. They weren't his hands on her cheeks. It wasn't his body pressed up against hers. Jacob. It was Jacob.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed, pushing him away with all her force. Not expecting that he almost fell down but steadied himself quickly. Renesmee's eyes were darting from right to left until they settled on him. Her eyes were glazed and slowly the fog around her eyes disappeared and she saw Niguel's face. The emotion in his eyes broke her heart. He was frightened.

She choked a sob, turned around and frantically got into her car. He watched in shock how with trembling hands she started the car and disappeared from the parking lot. Only when he couldn't hear her car's engine anymore he snapped out of the daze he was in.

"Fuck!" He cursed out loud, tugging on his hair strands painfully and wondering what the fuck was wrong with him.

Renesmee didn't remember how she got home. Only when she heard her mother's crooning voice in her ear she realized that she was wrapped in her arms. She shook uncontrollably until she calmed down enough to tell what she wanted.

"Daddy." She choked down. "I want Daddy."

It seemed like hours until her father arrived even though it was mere minutes because he was already on his way home. As soon as his arms wrapped around her she felt in a safe place. No one could hurt her right now.

She felt her siblings' presence as well and when she finally was calm enough to breathe properly she looked intently at her mother. For the first time she saw the impact the stress had done on her. Her mom's eyes were tired and sad, her lips downward and several wrinkles could be seen in the corners on her eyes.

Renesmee's eyes fell on her father who looked so much older than he really was. Stacey who looked worried sick. A thirteen-year-old shouldn't have looked as mature as she. The only thing she should have cared about was her crush not her crazy sister.

She left Anthony for the end. The love she saw shining in his eyes told more than anything could. She now felt guilty for every cruel word she's said to him. He certainly hadn't deserved her verbal abuse.

She realized now how much her family was hurt by her and she knew that there was only one thing that will make everything right.

"What do you need, sweetie?" Her mother asked sweetly. She brushed her daughter's hair from her forehead and squeezed her forearm with her other hand.

"I want to see psychiatrist." Renesmee whispered, closing her eyes and placing her head on her father's chest. She owed her family this, at least.

Everyone in the room let out a sigh of relief and her mother even laughed with relief clear in her voice. She hugged her daughter tightly, kissing her temple over and over again. She then looked at her husband's shining eyes and they kissed shortly in joy.

Dr. Victoria wasn't as bad as Renesmee thought she will be. Yes, she was a bit intimidating but not bad. She also was insanely beautiful with her long legs, shiny red hair and blood-red lips formed into confident smile.

The office where Renesmee was sitting at was cozy with beautiful paintings on the walls. The colors were warm rich and made her feel at home. Maybe this environment encouraged patients to open up?

"Why did you decide that you need therapy? Your parents said that you adamantly refused when they suggested it." Dr. Victoria inquired. Renesmee felt very self-conscious around this woman but she didn't let herself to feel intimidated.

"A boy kissed me." She blinked back the tears when she recalled the memory. "It triggered the memory." She breathed in sharply. "I didn't like that I couldn't kiss a boy without freaking out."

"You like this boy?" Dr. Victoria raised an eyebrow.

Renesmee nodded. "Yes. His name is Niguel. We've met a week after… _it_happened." She tried very hard to appear strong in front of this woman but her voice shook when she mentioned her accident.

Dr. Victoria nodded satisfied with an answer. "Tell me about Niguel."

An involuntary smile appeared on Renesmee's face. "He's great. I've never met a person who could lift my mood as soon as he does. For some reason everyone else sees me as some depressed girl but he brings out my best qualities. It's amazing. I haven't felt so good in a long time. Even before I met Jake."

Dr. Victoria's eyebrow rose. "You say your ex-boyfriend's name without a stutter." She said surprised. "But you can barely think about what's happened. Can you explain why?"

Renesmee was a bit confused because she thought that it was doctor's job to explain why she was acting as she was but she replied nonetheless. "I loved Jake. I think I still love him even though I don't know_why_. It wasn't his fault that it happened. My ex Jake is an absolutely different person from _that_Jacob."

The doctor hummed and nodded. "You've said that everyone see you as a depressed girl. Why do you think they are wrong?"

"Because I don't _feel_ depressed." Renesmee explained perplexed. "I'm moody and grumpy but I'm not depressed. I still laugh and joke and I don't have any suicidal thoughts or something."

"But something has changed to make them think like that." Dr. Victoria pointed out. "Think about it. When have you started feeling moody?"

She thought about it for a moment before answering. "I'm not sure but it might have been around the summer before my freshman year. No one noticed because I've hidden it so everyone thought that Jake made me depressed."

"And he didn't?" Doctor's voice rose a bit in disbelief. Renesmee didn't think that it was professional of her to show her reaction but she brushed it off.

"No. I felt happy and calm around him. I'd never snapped at him. During the year we were together we hadn't had an argument but it was entirely different with others. My family, my friends… It seemed as if we couldn't live through the day without a fight." Her eyes were sad when she recalled the last year. No one but Jake understood her. Maybe that was the reason why she'd fallen in love with him. Maybe it wasn't love but longing to be understood.

"Tell me about your family." Dr. Victoria asked after taking several notes in her notepad.

"Well, I love my parents. They really care about me and my siblings even though I sometimes feel that they are disappointed in me. My siblings are very smart and they are successful at everything they do unlike me. My grades are average and I don't have any special talent or anything. They probably wanted to have three child prodigies but they've got me." She bit her lip, trying not to cry. "There's also my brother Anthony. After I started dating Jake our relationship became practically nonexistent. I always insulted him all the time and refused to be seen with him in public. To me he was a loser brother who did everything Mom and Dad asked. He was a reptile in my eyes." She could feel the guilt eating her way out of her chest. "And then there's Stacey." Her eyes brightened at the mention of her sister. "She's really awesome and in a way she's similar to Anthony but I love her dearly. I don't know why but I never hated her like I hated Ants."

"Hmm…" Dr. Victoria tapped her pen to her bottom lip. "Tell me what you and your brother used to do when you were on friendly terms?"

"He used to teach me how to play guitar." Renesmee couldn't help but laugh at the memory. "He said that we're going to make a band and that I was going to be guitarist and lead singer. Our cousin Lexie was going to be a drummer and we'd ask Stacey to play bass. Anthony said he was going to compose our songs. He spent days composing them and teaching me how to play." Her face darkened when she suddenly remembered why this idea was ruined. "One day we got into an argument. I can't even remember about what – it was that stupid – but I got so pissed that I broke his guitar and ripped up his compositions."

Dr. Victoria's eyes were shining as she had just discovered a treasure. "How old you were when it happened?"

"Thirteen." Renesmee answered. "Maybe even younger. I remember that Lexie didn't have a piercing in her upper lip back then."

"You and Lexie." Doctor said. "Are you close?"

She shrugged. "You could say that. We talk about anything. My entire family is very close knitted. We share everything with everyone so it was natural for me and Lexie to feel close. We don't know much about each other's life but we feel connected."

"Is there any other cousins?" Dr. Victoria asked.

"Lexie has three siblings. There's Zack, he's only eight. Then Kaitlin who's fourteen and Emmett who's nineteen." Renesmee's voice changed subtly when she told her oldest cousin's name and doctor instantly questioned her about it. "EJ and I are very hostile to each other. We've never got along and we've always been mean to each other. He always pushed me and hit me – hard – and I've kicked and bit him. It wasn't just a playful children game – we were fighting for real. The day of the accident he said some very hurtful things and I haven't seen or talked to him after that."

"What did he say?" Doctor inquired. Renesmee shifted in her chair uncomfortably. "You don't have to tell me if you're not ready."

"Can we talk about something else?" Renesmee asked. She felt more comfortable talking about Jake than discussing her self-esteem issues.

"Sure. Tell me something more about your brother." Dr. Victoria smiled encouragingly. Renesmee launched into the story about her relationship with her brother while it still existed. She was surprised by how many good memories she had of her brother. For such a long time she held onto the hate for her brother and now she wondered where that feeling came from.

When her session came to an end the doctor gave her some homework. "I want you to do something with your brother that you haven't done in a long time. Spend some time with him every day and talk about your feelings. We will meet again on Friday and you'll tell me how it went."

Renesmee nodded and thanked her doctor. When she walked out of the room her parents were waiting for her already. She instantly wrapped her arms around her father in order to feel the safety he provided.

"How'd it go?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. Mom was on the other side of her, watching her daughter like a hawk.

"I think everything is going to be okay." She answered with a genuine smile and felt that it was just the first step towards her salvation.

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><p><strong>Do the justice!<strong>

**G.**


	6. Chapter 5

**Here it is! Chapter 5! My beta is working hard on editing the next one. I don't know when it'll be up though... It's all up to her. :) That's why you all have to review religiously and thank Abbie for being such an awesome soul. ;)**

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

"Rennie wait up!" A voice she dreaded to hear reached her. She refused to stop and continued her walking at a quicker pace. She didn't want to face him after what had happened even though she was starting to develop serious feelings for him.

Of course, she couldn't run out him with her clumsiness so it was bound to happen when she tripped up and fell down on her knees, bruising them badly. Niguel was instantly by her side, helping her up and demanding to hear if she was okay.

"I'm alright." She mumbled, not meeting his eyes. "I need to go to class."

He grabbed her wrist. "Please, I want to talk about what's happened. You're avoiding me and-"

"Usually when a person avoids you it means that he or she doesn't want to see or talk with you." She interrupted his ramblings. "I really need to go. I can't afford to skip lessons after the record I've had so far."

She wasn't the model student when she started High School and it was clear now why she couldn't keep her grades up. There were too many gaps for her to fill but she was doing her best, staying up late so she could study and so she could avoid the sleep which brought the nightmares.

"What about after school?" He suggested hopefully but he could feel that he was losing her. The way her eyes glazed as if she wasn't even there worried him but he couldn't do a thing about it.

"I have plans." She responded which was half true. She _had_planned something for her and Anthony as the doctor asked but she didn't know if her brother was available. Maybe he had a chess club meeting or had something planned with Mia? She wasn't going to tell that to Niguel though.

"You do?" He asked dubiously. He knew that he was the only friend Renesmee had and was reluctant to believe that she hid something like that from him.

"Yes." She answered harsher than she wanted. "Believe it or not but I have a life outside school, okay? You don't need to take a pity on me and be my friend. I haven't asked for your fucking charity."

His eyebrows furrowed and he felt annoyance in his chest. "Where the hell did you get that from? I'm your friend because I want to be not because I feel obligated or pity you. You're a great girl."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" She rolled her eyes, huffing in annoyance. "I'll tell you the truth okay? I don't want to see you. I don't want to be your friend. Leave me the fuck alone. Go and play an awesome boy from Rio de Janeiro to others. I don't need you."

With those words she turned around and practically ran away from him. She seemed to be doing a whole lot of that lately. The traitor tears formed in her eyes as she replayed her words. She was lying, of course. She _needed_him. Around him she felt almost normal but she wasn't going to risk everything. She had to get better first. She wasn't going to be with him when she knew that he was terrified of her. That look he gave her after the kiss will be forever etched into her mind.

For the rest of the day she managed to avoid him successfully and was relieved that she hadn't ran into Edith, too. She met Shelley however and the girl smiled sadly at her, obviously still torn about the way everything was. Shelley wanted Edith and Renesmee to be friends again but both girls were too stubborn for their own good.

After the last bell rang she waited impatiently for her brother to emerge from school. They took one car this morning which really surprised Anthony because she's never asked to be driven but he was happy that his sister was talking with him and immediately agreed to be the driver.

When he walked out of the school with Mia on his arm she inspected him carefully. He looked relaxed and even joyful but his face clouded with worry as soon as he saw her and she felt herself frowning. She caused him misery and the guilt inside of her increased.

"Something's wrong?" Anthony asked, carefully watching her expression. If he didn't know better he would have thought that she looked nervous but she had no reason to be so he brushed it off.

Renesmee forced a smile. "I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well." She admitted. Anthony knew that she wasn't. The entire Cullen household lay wide awake at night, listening to her screams and pleas not to hurt her. He knew for sure that their mother cried herself to sleep and that Dad had to give Stacey sleeping pills because she fainted at school from lack of sleep.

They were silent for a few minutes and Renesmee was fidgeting in her seat uncharacteristically. Finally, she sucked in a deep breath and blurted. "Do you have any plans tonight?"

Anthony was a bit surprised but shook his head. "No, why'd you ask?"

"Well, we haven't done anything together in a long time. I thought maybe you'd want to do something?" Her voice was quiet and unsure. Anthony looked at her and his chest tightened when he saw the person that was the total opposite of his sister. He felt as if it was his fault somehow. He was more hurt after she broke his guitar and ripped his compositions than he let others know and he stopped trying to keep their relationship. He felt as if he abandoned her when she needed him.

"What do you have in mind?" He asked with a smile. He would be stupid not to jump at the chance to fix their relationship.

Renesmee wasn't ready for guitar lessons so she suggested something very out of her character. "Our tree house is practically breaking? Maybe you want to fix it?"

The tree house in their backyard was Renesmee's idea but after Alice introduced her to the word of princesses she kind of abandoned it and Anthony never liked outdoors too much so it just was there not used.

"Sure." He beamed, making her smile genuinely. It was the first time he managed to make her smile sincerely and he was surprised how much happiness it gave him.

Their parents were ecstatic when they saw the two of them rebuilding their relationship along with their tree house. Slowly they would spend more and more time up there, talking about everything they'd missed in each other's life. She was surprised to hear that he hadn't played guitar or composed anything after that summer.

Sometimes Stacey joined them up there, talking cheerfully about her day but mostly they were left alone so they could reminisce in peace. They still hadn't discussed the heavy things but slowly their trust rebuilt and one evening they found themselves lying on the ground and gazing at sky.

"Are you still drawing?" Anthony asked quietly. She was surprised by his question and realized that she hadn't touched the notebook where her drawings were in a long time. She couldn't even remember why she stopped.

"I'd forgotten that I can draw until you asked." She laughed. All this time she fretted over the fact that she was stupid and talentless when in reality it was just in her head. She was smart but she skipped so many lessons and hadn't bothered to catch up that her grades fell significantly. And for some reason she stopped drawing when she knew that she _had_a talent for that.

"Your drawings were always amazing." He breathed, remembering their parents' proud smiles every time Renesmee showed them her newest masterpiece.

"And your compositions were beautiful." Renesmee whispered, turning on her side and leaning on her elbow to look at him. His eyes were closed but a small smile on his face showed that he knew that she was looking.

"Why aren't you hanging out with Niguel anymore?" He asked, feeling that he had to approach the problem lightly. Niguel seemed the easiest subject at the moment.

She sighed sadly. "He's afraid of me."

"I think he's afraid _for_you." Anthony corrected her softly. "He's been asking about you but I haven't told him anything only that you're okay. Do you like him?"

Renesmee shrugged. "He's okay. But during the last session I've realized that I still have feelings for Jake." She noticed how his face darkened and eyes filled with fury. "I know you hate him, Ants but you don't know him like I do. It's not his fault that he's sick."

"But it's his fault that you're having nightmares. It's his fault that you have lost your best friend-"

"It wasn't his fault that Edith and I aren't friends anymore!" Renesmee raised her voice but as soon as she realized it she started talking quietly again. "Our friendship was very complicated, Ants. I love her like sister but she said many hurtful things to me and sometimes I've got the impression that she's friends with me just because of you."

"Because of me?" He asked softly. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and Renesmee smiled at his adorable expression. She could recall the same expression from when they were little kids and one of the adults would say a foreign word.

"She's had a crush on you since my twelfth birthday." Renesmee said, recalling the day when Edith confessed to her about liking Anthony. She was a bit freaked out by that declaration but her fears vanished the day Anthony brought Mia home which was only two years after.

"Is this the reason why she tries so desperately to get me alone?" He asked with amusement clear in his voice. "She actually had asked me for tutoring. I didn't see why not so I agreed but then I couldn't go and asked Scott to go instead of me. He told me she was in a very pissy mood."

Renesmee couldn't help but laugh heartily. "Serves her right! I told her that you'll never leave Mia and you would never hurt me like that."

His heart swelled when she said the last part. She hadn't doubted his love and he was happy to fulfill her hopes. She was his little sister and he wanted to be the perfect big brother for her, for both of his sisters.

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug and she placed her head on his chest. It was good to have her brother back but they needed to cover one more very sensitive topic.

She sighed. "What's happened, Ants? When did we stop being brother and sister? It was always so easy with us. Our age difference was so little that we were practically like twins and somehow I've managed to ruin it. I've said so many hurtful things that I regret."

His arms tightened around her. "It wasn't your fault, Rennie." He whispered, calling her 'Rennie' instead of typical 'Nessie'. "To build a relationship you need two people and we both just gave up. I was so hurt by what you did and every time you've insulted me I felt like I had to distance myself from you when in reality I should've fought harder for saving our bond."

"I was an awful sister." She mumbled, feeling the tears in the corners of her eyes. "I'm so sorry for everything but after that I just felt… depressed. I've always wanted to be left alone because when you all asked what was wrong I felt like screaming. I wanted solitude but you never gave it to me. You prodded and pushed, not giving me space and not leaving me to get ready. I was… suffocated."

"Do you still feel like that?" He asked carefully, hoping that her answer won't be 'yes'. He'd just got his sister back and he didn't want to let go of her now.

"No." She whispered. "I feel that I missed out on so much. Up until several weeks ago I had no idea what was going on in your life and we're living at the same house! Now that I'm getting help I feel that our family finally is functional instead of barely functioning."

"Yeah." He agreed, placing his chin on the top of her head. "You're right."

After their talk Renesmee felt positively well and became very involved in everything that was related to her family. She helped her mother in the kitchen, volunteered at the hospital to be closer to Dad, resumed her guitar lessons with Anthony and chatted with Stacey for hours before going to sleep.

She still had nightmares at night and sometimes she felt so depressed that she had to cry herself to sleep but she didn't throw lamps at the wall anymore and chose to beat her pillow silently instead so as not to alert her parents about her anger.

Mia started hanging out at their house more often now that Renesmee hadn't done everything to make her feel uncomfortable. She couldn't believe what an awful person she was until she had to face her ugliness.

Renesmee found that she actually liked hanging out with Mia and Anthony couldn't be happier. He loved his sister and Mia dearly so it was very important to him that both girls would get along.

One Saturday Renesmee was at home alone, feeling too tired to go at Alice's. She was surprised when someone rang the doorbell because she didn't expect company. She couldn't help but smile when she saw Mia outside.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" She asked in surprise. Mia looked like she was ready to go out. "Anthony's not here."

Mia beamed at the girl in front of her. "I know! I've wanted to hang out with you. Get to know you better." She explained. "Let's go out today?"

Renesmee felt the surge of excitement. "Where are we going?" She hadn't been out with anyone that wasn't her family since she started therapy. It seemed like ages for her especially because usually she was a very social person.

"To the mall, if that's okay?" Mia said with a smile. Renesmee could see that she was really excited for their day out.

"Sure. Let me text my parents first." Her mother and father would have freaked out if they came back to an empty house without knowing where Renesmee was. They actually were reluctant to leave her alone, but Renesmee promised not to attempt suicide. She was the only one who thought it was funny.

Renesmee changed into jeans and simple t-shirt, picked up her purse and locked the door on her way out. Mia was waiting for her outside, leaning against her car. "I didn't know you could drive." She told her. Mia's brother always drove her to school and she'd never seen Mia behind the wheel.

Mia smiled. "I can but I don't like it. While Elliot is still driving me I'm content with that." Elliot was Mia's twin brother and he looked nothing like her. Mia was a frail-looking blonde girl with bright blue eyes but her brother was big, burly with brown hair and brown eyes. You would never tell that they were related if you didn't know.

They were at the mall in no time and Renesmee realized why Mia didn't like driving. While she was a decent driver, the entire drive her back was stiff, her hands gripped the wheel so tight that her knuckled whitened and she hadn't spoken a word.

"I can drive back if you want." Renesmee offered. She only now realized that she could suggest driving from the beginning when Mia told her that she didn't like driving. Too little too late for that now.

Mia let out a sigh of relief. "I'd be really grateful. This is my father's car and I'm terrified to damage it. Actually, I don't like driving probably because I've already wrecked my mother's car. She was really angry."

Renesmee felt an odd feeling coursing through her. "Isn't your mother dead?"

Mia's jaw tightened in anger or in annoyance, Renesmee couldn't tell, and her hands fisted her skirt. "She is. I wrecked her car when I was eight. My father had a seizure and I tried to get him to the hospital because I was the only one at home then."

She felt horrible for asking but she felt even worse when she realized that Mia didn't have the luxury of having such wonderful parents like Renesmee had. She now felt even guiltier for treating them the way she had. She didn't know what she would have done if her family was anything like Mia's.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Renesmee whispered apologetically. Mia's back relaxed but she still looked annoyed. Renesmee fully understood her – she didn't want to discuss her fucked up life with others, too. "Let's go?"

Mia smiled but her smile was hinted with something Renesmee couldn't recognize. "Sure. Let's hit clothes shops first, shall we?"

Surprisingly, they had a good time. Renesmee had never liked shopping with Edith and other girls but with Mia she loved every minute of it. Mia was an easy going person and she had pretty much the same taste in clothing as Renesmee so they had a blast going through racks.

After they had visited all clothing shops they had stopped to have lunch. Renesmee ordered a burger with fries while Mia grimaced at her choice and pulled out a bottle of pills, taking one pill in her mouth and swallowing it with water.

"What are those for?" Renesmee asked curiously. She realized that she might have been overstepping the boundaries again so she quickly backtracked. "You don't have to answer if I'm being too forward."

Mia let a short laugh. "No. It's okay. This is amphetamine to lessen my appetite." She noticed the confused expression on Renesmee's face and smiled tightly. "We don't have much money and I can't afford to eat as often as I want so I have to cope somehow. Elliot gets these pills and gives them to me. I don't ask where he gets them from because I'm pretty sure it's illegal."

Renesmee's eyes widened in horror. "Does my brother know that you're starving yourself?" Mia shook her head no and opened her mouth to explain that she wasn't doing this to lose weight but Renesmee wouldn't listen. "Order something and I'll pay for it."

"I can't do this." Mia answered timidly. "I don't want to appear gold-digger or something."

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "Jeesh, I'm pretty sure my brother is going to propose to you next year so you'll be family. And I'm not going to let my family starve. Even if you weren't Anthony's girlfriend I'd want to help. What kind of friend would I be if I let you damage yourself like this? No wonder you're so small."

Mia still was hesitant so Renesmee just ordered her Caesar Salad and coke. They've talked about school, music and even boys, carefully avoiding heavy topics. Even though they haven't talked about the hard stuff Renesmee realized that now she had another person she could lean on and trust.

Her brother was really lucky to have such a fine girl in his life.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading! Review! :)<strong>

**GKlein. :)**


	7. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

Dr. Victoria's gaze was scrutinizing when Renesmee walked into her office that day. She felt as if she was performing on stage when she entered the room. This was the first for her because during the other sessions she felt comfortable and at home. Dr. Victoria knew about Renesmee more than any other person in the world.

"How was your week?" She asked after their usual hellos. Renesmee felt herself relaxing. Their routine was comforting and she was relieved that the atmosphere in Dr. Victoria's office was still the same.

"Okay. Better than I expected. I managed to avoid Edith's wrath even though she tries to make my life miserable. Nahuel is staying out of my way but that's probably just because Ants asked him to. Whenever I catch his eyes staring at me it's as if I've just killed his puppy." She sighed. "Stacey is the same cheerful girl, mom's hovering and dad's acting weird."

Dr. Victoria hummed approvingly. "Let's start talking from the beginning. You have started with Edith. Do you feel sad because of the friendship that was lost?"

Renesmee sighed, brushing hair from her forehead. It was much longer now and often fell in her eyes. "Of course I do. Edith was like a sister to me. I don't know what's changed. She's very similar to Alice and I even wanted to ask her what to do but I'm afraid that she's going to judge me. I said really hurtful things to her and I've told Anthony about her crush on him."

"You shouldn't be afraid to talk with your family, Renesmee. You should find comfort in your family, not be afraid of judgment. Alice probably would be really disappointed and blame herself if she knew." Dr. Victoria explained and Renesmee nodded in agreement. Alice _would_blame herself if she knew that Renesmee was afraid of confiding in her. "Have you tried to talk with Edith?"

"I don't know if I can." Renesmee said, frowning. A little crease between her eyebrows appeared; indicating that she this was bothering her a lot. "She's just so hostile towards me. I don't think I could tell her two words before she started snarling."

Dr. Victoria looked at her for a moment before placing her notebook on the table and taking off her glasses. "Renesmee, you're such a brave girl." She praised. "Firstly, for coming here willingly but mostly because even after such traumatic events you still manage to harbor feelings for your attacker. If I didn't know things you have told me I'd say you're stupid but I see your courage and I admire it." She noticed the confused expression on Renesmee's face and sighed. "What I'm trying to say is… Well, this won't be the most professional advice but what the hell… You need to put on your Big Girl Pants, Renesmee and face Edith. She's not stronger than you. Hell, I'm sure she'd never manage to endure what you have and from what you've told me she's not a total bitch. She doesn't know about the rape so she doesn't have any reason to be compassionate. If you were a boy I'd say 'man up' but I guess now 'woman up' would be more suitable."

Renesmee stared at her doctor wide-eyed for a few beats before she smiled widely and started laughing. "Gosh, you so remind me of Aunt Rose. I swear it was like you pulled the words out of her mouth."

Dr. Victoria half-smiled, picking up her notebook and putting on her glasses again. She leaned into her chair and continued with the session like a professional she was. "What's next? Nahuel. Now that you've spent time away from him do you still have feelings for him?"

Renesmee smiled at the mention of Nahuel's name. She crossed her legs at her ankles as she talked. "I'm still attracted to him. I mean, what's not to like? He's really sexy and I absolutely love his personality but I feel absolutely different from when I was with Jake."

Dr. Victoria was very interested in her relationship with Jake. She couldn't wrap her head around the feelings that such a young girl developed. Under other circumstances they would be considered soul mates but Dr. Victoria knew that love isn't enough to have a good relationship. Trust is also vital and she doubted if Renesmee could trust Jacob anymore.

"How so?" She questioned. Silently she was Team Nahuel but it wasn't her choice. Everything was up to Renesmee and her feelings.

The girl sighed. "When I was Jake it seemed as if… as if it was easier to breathe when he was around me. He was my last thought before sleep and the first one when I woke up. I've always thought about him and was giddy when I knew I'd see him. When he first kissed me I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss for days. I can't stop thinking about kiss with Nahuel, too but for totally different reasons…" She trailed. "I want to hate Jake." She confessed in a quiet voice. "But I can't. He's brought so much happiness in my life and when someone tells his name I recall only those moments. It freaks my family out when I talk about Jake so casually. They still are waiting for my breakdown."

"It is only normal for you to compress your feelings." Dr. Victoria explained calmly. "The breakdown is inevitable, Renesmee. You can't bottle up your feelings-"

"I know." She snapped, interrupting the doctor. "I'm not bottling up anything. I let out my anger but they don't know about it. In the beginning I threw lamps but they got worried so I take my anger out on pillows."

"Tell me about it." Dr. Victoria demanded. She hadn't known this bit of information and it annoyed her. Just like her family, she expected the news about the breakdown but it seemed that Ms. Cullen _was_letting out her emotions.

"Every night before I go to sleep I feel this… incontrollable anger." She explained, struggling with words. "The first time I felt it, I threw my lamp at the wall. I wanted to scream but my parents would have thought that I was sick or something so I muffled my screams by putting my fist into my mouth."

"What triggered that reaction?" The Doctor questioned.

"Mom and Dad tried to talk me into starting therapy. Dad said something about Jake not being able to be near me and I was… enraged. I asked them to tell me if he tried to apologize or something and then I got angry that I still cared about him. I always hated Mom's and Anthony's ability to forgive very quickly but I realized that I was exactly the same…" Renesmee sniffled, brushing several tears that escaped. She looked away from Dr. Victoria's intense gaze as she tried to collect herself.

"I don't think that's the case, Renesmee." Dr. Victoria softly began. "After all, you haven't forgiven Edith for her lack of support." She pointed out, bringing Renesmee's attention. "Your parents love each other very much, right?"

"Unconditionally." Renesmee replied. In her mind she saw the longing gazes, the intense whispers, soft sighs and lingering caresses her parents shared all the time.

"Your mother would forgive anything to your father." The therapist concluded. "_You_would forgive anything Jacob did."

When she started feeling lightheaded she realized she wasn't breathing. In her chest she felt an uncomfortable feeling which she recognized as realization. She loved Jacob. She didn't want to love him but she did. And she was never going to see him again. Or at least she wasn't going to be allowed to. Her parents pressed charges but because of his illness he hadn't gotten any jail time.

"I don't want to love him." She whispered, looking in Dr. Victoria's direction but not looking _at_her. Her eyes were glazed and she was shaking her head slowly from side to side. "He messed me up so much."

"I know sweetie." Dr. Victoria replied sympathetically. She truly admired this girl because she made her appreciate everything so much more. She was a grown up woman and knew that she would never make this far if she was in Renesmee's place. She would have ended her life or at least attempted. "We're working on fixing you, okay?"

Renesmee nodded slowly. "Can we talk about something else now?"

"Sure. You've mentioned your father was being weird. Can you elaborate?" Dr. Victoria asked, glancing from her notebook to Renesmee continuously.

"Well, now that I pay attention I realize that he stared at me with this expression on his face for quite some time. Sometimes he just looks so… guilty. As if he did something to me, as if he made me the way I am. I don't know what to think of it. I know that he drinks some pills every morning so he must be ill or something because he drinks them all the time. Usually he drank once a month but after everything happened he started drinking them every day." Renesmee shook her head sadly. "Maybe he thinks that I'm sick, too? But he hasn't asked or insisted I am tested so I don't think that's the case…"

Dr. Victoria saw that she wanted to tell something but restrained so she encouraged her to talk. "You know that everything you say will be staying between those four walls."

Renesmee sighed deeply. "Maybe he thinks that I'm a failure or something? I mean, every single Cullen is perfect. Well, maybe except for Lexie. But Anthony and Stacey and him and Mom they're so freaking perfect. I feel like I'm not enough sometimes."

"Renesmee." She was surprised by the sternness in Dr. Victoria's voice. "I know your father personally and I can assure you that he loves you the way you are. I don't know about your other family members but believe me when I tell that he's not perfect. Nobody's perfect, Renesmee and the love that parents have for their children is unconditional. You know what the term means, don't you?"

Renesmee felt that the question was rhetorical but she still answered with a nod. "Of course."

"Talk with him." The doctor encouraged in a much gentler voice. "He's not a mind reader and neither are you. You can't show him your thoughts with a touch or look. Communication is very important in any kind of relationship. You've seen how much that helped with Anthony."

"Okay." Renesmee nodded. "I'll talk with him. Thank you, doctor."

She didn't have an opportunity to talk with her father because as soon as she was back at home, she was ushered back to her father's car because they were off to Uncle Emmett's for the dinner.

She dreaded this particular dinner because she was going to face EJ. She hadn't told Dr. Victoria that they were meeting tonight and now she regretted it. Renesmee wanted to know how to approach this situation without being hurt because EJ was worse when it came to emotional abuse than Edith was.

"How was your session?" Her mother asked from passenger seat. Renesmee and her siblings sat in the back with Stacey in the middle. Her little sister was a bit jealous of Anthony for stealing Renesmee's attention so she practically growled at Mom for interrupting her story. "Sorry, sorry!" Mom laughed. "We'll talk later then."

Renesmee liked listening to Stacey's stories so she had no problems with Stacey demanding her attention. Mom, Dad and Anthony were discussing something school-related while Stacey talked about her friend's upcoming birthday. This reminded Renesmee that Stacey's birthday wasn't very far and that she didn't have present for her sister. She made a mental note to go out with Mia and buy Stacey something.

Kaitlin has already been waiting on the porch as they arrived and she instantly dragged Stacey away before saying hello to the rest of the family. To Renesmee's surprise Lexie was the first one to hug her tightly as she apologized for the last time they've met.

"Hey. It's okay. I'm over it now." Renesmee reassured her cousin. However, she wasn't over what EJ said so she visibly froze when she heard the booming laughter, following by a familiar voice.

Lexie instantly picked up on her cousin's mood and pulled her to her bedroom. The girls discussed school and Lexie talked about the boys she's been with lately. Renesmee was a bit jealous of her cousin even though the thought of sleeping around wasn't appealing to her in any way. At least Lexie _could_ sleep around.

They were called for dinner and surprisingly it went by without any arguments between EJ and Renesmee. Actually, she just ignored him while he tried to catch her eye. He wanted to apologize but EJ wasn't good with words. However, when he realized that there isn't any other way he decided to give up. A glare from his mother and a nudge from his father changed his mind though.

"Nessie, can we talk?" He asked, looking at her with what he hoped were apologetic eyes. She hadn't looked up but nodded so he thought of it as a small victory. His mother sent him 'don't fuck this up' look while his father was devouring his dinner.

"What do you want?" She asked so quietly that he had to strain his ears to hear her. This wasn't his cousin Renesmee, he realized. This wasn't the vibrant and happy girl he used to know. And he felt guilty as fuck for adding into her destruction.

"I'm sorry, cousin. I've said many things I didn't mean-" He started but he was interrupted by the sound of her sarcastic laughter.

"Many? So there are things that you actually _meant_?" She spat, looking at him with so much hate that he had to cower. No one ever harbored such strong and bad feelings for him. Especially not his relatives.

He didn't know how to answer to her because he's just realized that every word he told her was an insult. This was the first time he's apologized and actually meant it. Every other time, even when they were kids, he made fun of her, stole her toys, destroyed her drawings and pushed her from swings and other high things so she would get hurt. He was cruel and only now he had decency to be ashamed of it.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled awkwardly. "I was wrong, _always_wrong but when I talked with you after your accident I thought I was helping-"

"Helping?" She laughed hysterically. "You fucking screwed me up, Emmett! Thanks for your _help,_buddy! Really, I'm so fucking grateful!"

EJ felt annoyance towards his cousin. She always annoyed the hell out of him and it was probably the main reason why he was so crude when it came to her. He was admitting his faults, something he's never done, but she was laughing at him.

"You know, you could at least appreciate my efforts." He said grumpily. "I never admit I'm wrong just so you know."

"Oh, Emmett, I'm honored." She said sarcastically. "Should I curtsy you or something? Do you want me to bow and kiss your toes in my gratitude?"

"Maybe I was right after all!" He yelled. "Maybe you really are a bitch I said you are. It's no surprise that guy raped you because you deserved it. Every fucking second of it!"

The hateful glare in her eyes was replaced by the hollow look that she used to wear during the first days after the attack. She stared at EJ but she didn't _see_him. No, in front of her stood Jacob with black eyes and sadistic smile. A smile that she's only seen in her dreams, never in reality but she couldn't stop her subconscious.

"I need to get out of here." She murmured so quietly that EJ hadn't heard her. He watched his cousin storm out of the house, slamming the door behind her. The rest of the family was instantly in the room with EJ's mother in front.

"What's happened? Where is she?" She demanded, glaring at her son as if it was his fault that Renesmee was a drama queen. She used to be cool but now she just overreacted when it was nothing.

"She'll come back soon." EJ replied, hoping that it'll ease his mother's nerves and that he won't be into much trouble when she founds out what's happened.

Renesmee didn't know how long she walking only that she stopped when she was blinded by car lights. The vehicle stopped and she was very surprised when she saw Mia climbing out of passenger's seat. Her friend looked her over from tear-stained cheeks to her designer shoes and took in her shaking form.

"Come here." She opened her arms and Renesmee practically threw herself at Mia. She sobbed loudly for a while before she vaguely heard the driver's door open and someone walking around the car to join them.

"What the fuck is happening? We have to go home, Mia. If our old man finds-" Elliot's voice trailed when he saw the familiar shape wrapped around his sister. He could recognize this girl anywhere because he developed a serious crush on her long time ago. He was thrilled when Mia announced that she was Anthony Cullen's girlfriend and his hopes were crushed when he saw Renesmee with Jacob.

"Maybe you'd like to come over?" Mia offered with a gentle voice as if afraid of scaring the girl wrapped around her. "I'll call Tony from home and he'll pick you up."

"Thank you." Renesmee sobbed out but Mia brushed it off, saying that Cullen family helped her much more than she could.

Elliot was elated to drive in the same car with Renesmee Cullen even though she hadn't even acknowledged his presence. He was a bit worried about his father's reaction but he figured that Anthony will pick her up before his father was back.

Caius hated the Cullen's with passion for some unknown reason and he was worried what he might do to Renesmee. He felt pain in his chest when he saw her crying and he knew that if his father tried do anything to her he would protect her fiercely, putting her safety even further than Mia's.

The house they lived in was a shack compared to the mansion where the Cullen's lived but Renesmee hadn't cared. She didn't even notice that they were inside until Mia sat her on the sofa and demanded she told her everything.

At that moment Renesmee couldn't hold anything in and told Mia about _everything._ About Jacob, about Edith and about EJ. She listened to her as intently as Elliot who was so enraged that internally he swore to punish those two bastards and heinous bitch.

Renesmee was sobbing hard, relishing the feeling of Mia's comforting touch when the front door opened and her friend yelled at whoever it was. "About the damn time! I've had her here for quite some time!"

Heavy footsteps could be heard nearing and Renesmee hoped to see her brother but instead she saw a man with a malicious smile. This man was so familiar that she couldn't help but gasp. The same eyes, the same smirk, the same shape of nose…

He grinned, showing his teeth. "Can you believe it? You've recognized who I am quicker than my own daughter! It took her several weeks to notice the resemblance."

"You… you…" Renesmee gasped. The man in front of her was Edith's father, she was sure of it. Of course, Renesmee knew the sad story of Edith's. Her mother was raped and ended up pregnant with a daughter. "How long?"

"Five years or so." He shrugged with a sneer. "I should introduce myself. I'm Caius Carney and you're the infamous Renesmee Cullen. I've always found your name too stuffy, don't you think?"

"I'm going home." Renesmee said in a shaky voice, attempting to stand up but she was held by Mia. Her thin hands were stronger than one could think and Renesmee had to struggle against her grip.

"Let her go, Mia." Elliot demanded, confused as to why she's exposing her friend to the danger. She knew as well as he that their father won't a welcoming host.

"Shut up!" She hissed. "You're such a wimp, Elliot. Pining away for a girl you could never have. Thank God you told _me_to do this." She said to her father who was leering at Renesmee. "Imagine _him_ trying to seduce _her._"

"What are you talking about?" Renesmee demanded, echoing the question in Elliot's head. He had no idea what was happening but he understood that now he had to fight both his sister and father.

"Knock her out. We'll take care of the rest tomorrow." Caius told his daughter. Renesmee tried to escape one last time but Mia pushed a syringe in her thigh and she felt the blackness taking over.

* * *

><p><strong>Uh oh. Nessie's in trouble. What do you think is going on?<strong>

**G.**


	8. Chapter 7

**This chapter is not edited. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

She woke up with a splitting headache. The memories of last night flooded back instantly and she wondered with what kind of drug Mia pumped her. She felt dizzy, nauseous, thirsty and terrified. Her parents were probably freaking out and calling police, blaming EJ for angering her or worse, blaming her for overreacting.

The room was unfamiliar but from pale blue walls and posters with race cars she guessed that it belonged to Elliot. Briefly, she wondered where he was and if he was okay. After all, he tried to keep her safe. She just hoped that Caius hadn't hurt him in any way. He seemed like the gofer in this family.

When she remembered what Mia has done she instantly was angry. What a bitch that girl was! She probably was comforting Anthony at the moment, swearing that she didn't know where his little sister was when in reality she was the reason why she wasn't at home.

Then Renesmee was angry at Edith. How could she not tell her about her father? On one hand she understood that maybe she was ashamed. Who would want others to know that such a bastard was their father? But on the other hand they were best friends. Sisters. Renesmee knew that up until she was raped she told Edith absolutely everything. It hurt that her friend betrayed her at such early age.

Maybe that was the reason why Edith was so defensive. She probably felt guilty and didn't want to admit that it _was_ mostly her fault that their relationship was ruined.

Suddenly she heard a lock and Caius walked in, locking the door behind him. She was afraid that he was alone, knowing that such a malicious man could violate her. He raped Edith's mother, what could make her think that he had changed? Mia's and Elliot's mother probably was killed by his dirty hands.

"You're awake." He said in satisfaction. "Good. It's better that you're awake for this." The dread washed over her when a smirk formed on his face. "Don't worry, I'm not going to touch you. As I would touch a Cullen." He snorted as if the idea repulsed him. "Even though you look a lot like your mother."

"You know my mother?" Renesmee interrupted only to be blown away by a hard smack on her cheek. Caius hit her with so much force that she felt the blood trickling down her cheek.

"Don't talk unless you're given permission!" He yelled, coming closer and yanking on her hair painfully. She winced but refused to cry out. She wasn't going to give the satisfaction of her screams. "I'm not going to touch your disgusting body. I need a woman and you look like a scrawny boy!"

He reeked of sweat, vomit and booze, making Renesmee even more nauseous. She restrained from gagging, knowing it would send her kidnapper into another rage fit. "I've waited for this for a long time." He confessed. "Finally, I'll be able to get my revenge against that emo kid. Your father, that depressed fucker. I don't know what your mother had ever seen in him but she refused to be mine." His eyes darted from one side to another as he couldn't quite realize where he was. "I'm going to kill you slowly. You're going to beg for mercy but I'll just cut you to pieces. Mia is going to film everything. Then, piece by piece I'll send you to your parents. After they get the video they'll have to hear every scream, every plea, see every tear… They had to know from the beginning that messing with me was a bad idea."

Renesmee felt panic well up in her chest. This monster, this beast was going to kill her. She didn't want to die. She's never considered her death because she thought she was too young to do so. Now she wished that she talked with Nahuel, made up with Edith and been nice to EJ. She wanted to hug and kiss her family, to tell them that she loved them. To tell Jacob that she forgave him.

Caius threw her on the bed like a rag doll before leaving the room and locking her up. As soon as his footsteps disappeared she let herself weep. Her frame shook with sobs and she hugged the foreign pillow to her chest, seeking her father's arms. She wanted to be comforted. She wanted his velvety voice in her ear, telling that everything will be okay, that he was going to fix everything. Because that's what good Dads do – they make their daughters feel safe.

Eventually, she fell asleep and was awoken by someone wrapping their arms around her. She abruptly turned around only to face Elliot. He looked absolutely horrible with a black eye, a huge gash on his forehead and obviously broken nose.

He mixed her terrified expression, thinking that she thought of him as an attacker. "Shhh, I'll help you. I've knocked Mia out with the drug she gave you."

Renesmee scrambled out of the bed and followed her rescuer as silently as possible. She didn't know where Caius was but from the way they were sneaking she figured that he was around. Elliot was holding her hand and she clung to him desperately. She just prayed that Elliot could be trusted unlike his twin.

The stairs creaked a little, making them both freeze but when no one emerged they continued their escape. She let out a sigh of relief when they finally got outside. Elliot led her to the car and practically pushed her inside, quickly getting into the driver's side and shakily starting the car.

"Give me the directions to your house." He said with a shaky voice. He looked on the verge of nervous breakdown.

Renesmee told him where to go and stared at him gratefully. "Thank you, Elliot. You saved my life. I'll be forever grateful."

The only thing Elliot wanted was for her to declare her love to him but he knew that she hadn't known he even existed up until now. He was ready to try and be her friend though. If he remained alive after this because he sure as hell wasn't coming back home after pissing his father like that.

When they were two minutes away from her home he stopped the car. She panicked for a moment but when he hadn't moved she looked at questionably. His hands were gripping the wheel tightly and he was trying to breathe evenly. "You have to walk the rest of the way. I'm getting out of here. Dad is going to kill me when he finds out I helped you escape."

"No!" Renesmee panicked as soon as she heard the word 'kill'. "You've saved my _life_, Elliot. My family and I will do anything to keep you safe. Besides, Edith is your half-sister so at least you have some sane relatives."

Elliot shook his head. "No. Go, Renesmee. Your family is going crazy."

She placed her hand on his shoulder. "C'mon Elliot. You'll be safe."

He closed his eyes. "Please, sweetheart, just go." She was very surprised by his endearment and tentatively opened the door. Elliot realized that this must be the last time he'll see her so he turned at her. "Rennie?" She looked at him wide-eyed. For the first time she felt the same thrill she used to feel with Jacob. "I love you. I've loved you for a long time. Take care, okay?"

"Come visit me someday?" She smiled. Elliot nodded just to make her go, knowing full well that he was as good as dead now. Caius knew many people and he was going to kill Elliot, son or not.

Renesmee turned around with a smile and rushed home. When she saw her home in the distance she broke into run and practically broke the door with the force she opened it. Her mother was the first one to emerge and she screamed, running to hug her.

"Nessie! My baby! You're alive!" She cried, hugging her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. But Renesmee wasn't complaining. She was hugging her mother with the same force and when she felt the feel of safeness she knew that her father joined into their hug. He kissed her hair repeatedly, whispering his happiness.

As soon as the happiness wore off her parents started asking questions but she felt so weak and exhausted. Her head was spinning and the voices of her parents emerged into one annoying sound, making her sway. Before she knew she collapsed on the ground, welcoming the blackness once again.

This time when she woke up she was surrounded by worried but at the same time relieved faces. Her father was the closest to her and kissed her forehead as soon as her eyes opened. "I thought I'll never see those gorgeous eyes." He confessed. Renesmee felt his tear falling on her cheek and raised her arms to wrap around him only to be restricted by an IV she had in her left arm.

"You've fainted from starvation and lack of fluids." He explained. He caressed her cheek gently and when she felt the pain she remembered Caius. And Elliot.

"Where's Elliot?" She asked, worried. Her eyes wandered from one face to another until they reached Anthony. He looked very exhausted with dark circles under his eyes and grayish skin.

"God." He choked. "He and Mia had been found dead yesterday."

The sudden realization hit Renesmee. Caius killed his own children. He slaughtered them as if they were nothing. He killed Elliot. Elliot who loved her from afar. Elliot who she hadn't noticed up until now. Elliot who sacrificed his life for hers.

"Where's their father?" She whispered, terrified that he was still after her. If he managed to kill his own children so carelessly there was no doubt he would have done the same to her.

"Gone. They're sure that he hadn't left the state though. He's the main suspect, seeing as he didn't have the best record-" He trailed, looking at his sister intently. "Does he have to do anything with your disappearance?"

"No." Renesmee lied. "After I ran away from EJ, I've met Mia. She took me in and I stayed at her place. Elliot brought me home." She didn't know why she was making up those lies. Her heart told me that it was wrong but her mind wanted to believe that she was safe. That her story _was_ true.

"Why haven't you called us? We were worried sick!" Mom exclaimed, now looking more angry than happy. She just couldn't believe her daughter's carelessness. Those days without her were hell. Worse than anything she had to endure.

"I wanted to be alone." Renesmee mumbled, turning on her side. "Can I be left alone?" She mumbled, closing her eyes and pretending to want to sleep. Her family was in disbelief but one by one they kissed her forehead and deserted her room. As soon as they were gone Renesmee let herself cry.

She cried for Mia even though she hadn't deserved, she cried for herself because she didn't understand why this was happening to her but mostly she cried for Elliot and the future he'll never have.

She lay in her bed for days and with every hour her thoughts were darker and darker. Her parents wanted to force her to go to school but she couldn't even work properly because she wasn't eating. Every night she dreamt of Caius. Sometimes he was cutting her to pieces like he promised but other times she dreamt of him doing the same to his children.

Every time she woke up screaming in her pillow. And every time after that she thought of the opportunity to join Elliot and Mia. She wanted to die. She was unworthy of this life. She was hideous, a liar and worried her family unnecessarily. They would be better off without her.

It was a late morning when she climbed out of her bed and padded to her parents' bathroom which was adjoined with the bedroom. She opened the cabinet where her father kept his pills and looked at prescription.

Antidepressants.

So this was what Caius had in his mind when he talked about her father. He had a depression. Now, his illness will be her benefit. She took on tablet and swallowed it dry. Knowing that she will have to keep doing that she walked downstairs to the kitchen and got herself a glass of water.

One pill. Two pills. Three pills…

Finally, the bottle was empty. She threw it out and slowly walked to her room, feeling dizzy. When she was in her bedroom, her knees gave out and she had to crawl into her bed. She got under the covers and closed her eyes.

Yes, they were better off without her fucked up mind.

This was the last time she was going to welcome darkness so she prayed to God for the last time.

When she woke up, she could hear the high pitched beeping on her right. She knew what this meant – she was in the hospital and she definitely wasn't dead. Maybe that was God's way of sending her to hell? Maybe her life equaled hell? It could be truth.

She was aware of someone squeezing her hand but she hadn't made effort to squeeze back. She didn't want to be alive. They should have been relieved that she's dead and to stop trying save her worthless life.

"I know you're awake." A masculine voice reached her. She frowned, still refusing to open her eyes. She didn't want to see the disapproval in his eyes. Dr. Victoria was wrong. She was _anything _but brave. She a weak person.

"Stop being a baby and open your fucking eyes." He was very angry. He never cursed unless he was absolutely furious. He was too goody-goody to curse at any other time.

She opened one eyes and closed it when the bright light hurt her eyes. She tried again, this time opening both eyes and waited until the image of her brother was clear enough to see his green angry eyes.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He hissed. She noticed that he still was holding her hand so he must be angry as much as he was relieved. She knew that his anger was nothing compared to what was waiting for her when Dad came to check on her.

"What do you think a person who attempts a suicide thinks?" She answered sarcastically, trying to roll her eyes but it hurt her head so she just glowered at him. "And why did you have to come home earlier? Didn't you have another nerd conference to attend?"

"I was at Mia's and Elliot's funeral." He growled, making her heart sink. She was so selfish she hadn't had a chance to tell a proper goodbye to her savior. "I had a bad feeling and came home to check up on you. Pills thrown out everywhere was a sight to see!"

"I threw them everywhere?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows. "I don't remember that." She thought she was pretty neat and discreet in what she did but apparently she wasn't as focused she thought.

Anthony wanted to say something but the door opened and their father came in with a livid expression on his face. As soon as he saw her awake his face relaxed but then instantly turned into disapproval. Without a word he checked her health and then finally came closer and kissed her forehead.

"Your mother passed out when she heard." He informed, only fueling the guilt in her chest. She didn't want to feel guilty but those people weren't making it any easier. "You have a lot of visitors. Should I let them in?"

She sighed. "Sure." She will get over with this as soon as possible.

At first it was Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose with Kaitlin, Zack and Lexie. They all expressed their relief and worry and after her folks left, Lexie stayed to talk with her cousin. She tried to pry some information but eventually gave up and just told her to get well soon.

Renesmee wanted to snort. As if _that _was going to happen.

Then there was Alice and her two men – Jasper and Daniel. They hadn't stayed too long but left with a promise to visit her the next day. After them her grandparents appeared and Renesmee was surprised to see Grandma Renée. Nana Esme fussed, Papa Carlisle checked on her health while Grandpa Charlie gave an awkward hug. The four of them made her promise not to do anything reckless.

_Don't worry. Next time will be well-planned._ She promised in her head. This wasn't reckless behavior, was it?

When her mother and sister came in she was smothered with kisses and hugs. Her entire family stayed with her past visiting hours because her father was a doctor in this hospital but they were unsuccessful at trying to pry something out of her.

They decided to leave it to Dr. Victoria.

When EJ showed up in her room she thought she was sleeping because there was no way he would show his face after all of this. She blinked several times before she realized that she wasn't dreaming. "I thought you wanted me to die."

EJ frowned, sitting on the chair next to her bed. "Look, Nessie, I came here to apologize. Sincerely. Just let me talk this out and I'll go. I know you don't want to see me."

She nodded, lazily. There was nothing he could tell her and hurt her more than she already was hurt.

He took in a deep breath. "I was jealous of you. You were always such a firecracker. My Dad loved you and I was jealous. He was always a jokester and unfortunately we didn't share the same sense of humor because we just couldn't bond.

"So I did everything I could to please him. I stuck to the rules, took interest in sports, was womanizer and party animal. I tried so hard and you… you did everything without effort. You won his heart with your smile and strong personality. So I did everything to belittle you. I wanted to feel better about myself so I made fun of you."

He deeply inhaled, rubbing his face tiredly. "When I told you that I meant well, I meant it. I thought that if you were angry that you would explode and tell me everything about Jacob. You needed to let out your anger so I fueled the fire. And you exploded. Only not in a way I wanted. I'll be sorry forever for what I've done to you. I know we will never have a relationship that you share with Lexie but I hope we'll be able to get on. You're my cousin, Nessie. You're family. And I love you. Unconditionally. I promise that I'll try to be a better relative from now on."

Renesmee didn't answer. She just stared blankly at him. She wasn't blinking, she wasn't doing anything. "Get out." She told him in a defeated voice and closed her eyes. She listened how the chair scraped the floor as he stood up. She felt him lingering by the door but when the door clicked shut she let herself relax and fall asleep with a little clearer conscience.

At least one person wasn't angry at her for what she's done.


	9. Chapter 8

**This chapter is not edited. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of __the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

The next time she woke up she felt the overwhelming feelings of safety and she instantly knew that it due to a pair of strong arms wrapped around her. She turned around, trying not to push her father out of the small hospital bed and looked up at his worn-out face.

His green eyes met her browns and she had to look away. She felt so guilty for causing the pain to her family. She buried her face into her father's chest and breathed in his soothing scent. His arms rubbed her back in even circles.

Finally, she whispered in a timid voice. "Daddy?" She sounded like a small child and his arms instantly tightened around her. He wanted to protect her and her voice indicated that she felt very vulnerable.

"Yes, princess?" He whispered, doing his best to relax her.

"Is it true?" She asked. "You are sick with depression?" She felt hurt that her father hadn't told her such an important thing about himself. Aunt Rose's children knew what's happened to her mom even though Zack couldn't understand it clearly yet.

Dad sighed and placed his chin on the top of her head, staring at the white hospital wall in front of him. "I am. I've been sick my entire life. I've inherited it from my mother."

Renesmee gasped in shock. "Nana is sick, too?"

She felt her father nod. "It isn't anything serious and we thought that none of you had inherited it. Until you started acting out of character. I wanted to believe that it was only a phase for you but after this…" He trailed with pain recalling the ambulance bringing in his dying daughter. "Now I understand how my parents felt when I tried to kill myself."

"You attempted suicide, too?" Renesmee asked, pulling away a bit in order to look at her father's face. He looked absolutely solemn.

He nodded. "And I can't even be angry at you for doing this. I know what it was like. It seemed like removing yourself from your world was the only thing that will make sense. I thought I wasn't needed in this world."

With sinking heart she realized that he described the exact feelings she felt when she tried to die. She then realized that he needed to know the truth. He needed to know why she fell so deep.

"Caius Carney." She whispered, closing her eyes. Her father stiffened against her at the mention of the name. The surname was unheard but he knew only of one Caius. "He knows you and mom." Her voice broke and she started sobbing against him. "It was so horrible Dad. They gave me drugs and I was asleep for the most of the day. He had beaten Elliot and then killed him because he helped me… How can he be such a terrible person?"

"He kidnapped you?" Her father asked in venomous voice. She knew that he wasn't angry at her. Whatever history those two men had it couldn't have been rainbows and flowers.

"After I ran from the house I met Mia. She and her brother took me home and she promised to call Anthony so he could take me home. Then their father came home, she sank the syringe with drugs into me and I passed out. Caius came and he said…" She choked on her tears. "God… He said he was going to cut me into pieces and film it… He wanted to send piece by piece to you and then the video…"

She fisted her father's shirt and she cried out the terror she felt. This ruthless man was somewhere out in the world, waiting for another opportunity to kidnap her, or worse, her siblings. She just couldn't imagine Stacey going through that. There won't be Elliot to save her.

"Mia's brother Elliot helped me escape." She sniffled. "He was beaten up badly, probably because he protested when he realized what his father wanted to do… He drove me home and told me he loved me before I walked away…" She shuddered with guilt. "I should've insisted on him going with me. He wouldn't be dead if not for me. I don't deserve-"

"No, no, no." Her father protested hotly. "Don't you dare to say that you don't deserve to live Renesmee Carlie Cullen. Yes, Caius is a horrible man and I will do everything to find him and a way to punish him. Yes, Elliot sacrificed his life for yours. He wanted you to live and be happy, Rennie. Don't make his sacrifice pointless."

She shook her head in protest but hadn't said a word. She couldn't understand how it was fair that she lived and not him. She didn't know him but she was sure that he deserved to live more than she ever will. She wanted to believe that he was in a better place now. Somewhere with loving parents and siblings. He should have had what she has now.

"Rennie, you have your family. So many people love and care about you. Don't let Elliot down. Don't let us down. We need you, princess." Her father cooed, rocking her as much as he could rock her while they were half-lying.

She cried until she fell asleep and when she opened her eyes, Anthony and Stacey was there along with Mom and Dad. Her parents were wrapped around each other and gazed loving in each other's eyes while her siblings played with cards.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Renesmee laughed. "As if you can't do this shit at home." They looked at her in surprise but small smiles appeared on their faces and they exchanged subtle glances. They were getting their Nessie back.

"Well, this is family time. We can't have family time without all family members being present." Stacey explained. "We're playing Monopoly and I'm going to be a banker!" She noticed a sour look on her sister's face. "You're cheating all the time, Rennie!"

"I'm so not cheating." Renesmee fake-pouted, crossing her arms on her chest. "I'm lying in hospital bed! Why can't I be the banker?" She looked at her father, jutting out her bottom lip. "Daddy?"

Stacey did the same, batting her long eyelashes. Their father looked torn but their mother laughed and stepped in. "_I _am going to be the banker. Nessie isn't the only one who likes to cheat." She said, pinching her husband's side. "I wonder where she learnt that from."

Renesmee's father grinned. "Guilty. I've learnt from Emmett and he learnt from Dad. It's a Cullen trait."

The five of them played for hours. At some point the rest of the family appeared and disappeared, absolutely relieved to see Renesmee smiling and getting better. Anthony and Stacey had gone home sooner because they had school, leaving Renesmee with her parents.

They were silent for a few moments when Renesmee spoke. "Can you arrange me a meeting with Jake?"

Her father's eyes widened and he stood up abruptly, almost making his wife fall on the ground because she was sitting in his lap. "Absolutely not! I don't want that mutt coming near you!" He growled, glaring at his daughter as if she was insane for asking something like this.

"Edward!" Her mother hissed, pulling him down on the chair. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time before her father sighed and sat down, sulking. Her mother turned to look at her with soft eyes. "Why do want to see him?"

"I dream about him." Renesmee confessed. "When I was kidnapped I realized that I've never got the chance to tell him about… things." She glanced at her father, making her mother realize that it was something he didn't want to hear about. "And I need some kind of closure. Jake isn't a bad person. He's sick. Just like you and me." She said the last sentence, looking at her father.

Mom sighed. "We'll arrange something when you're out of the hospital." When she saw the look her daughter gave her she rolled her eyes. "Fine. As soon as possible."

However, it seemed that they couldn't arrange anything with Renesmee at the hospital because Jacob wasn't allowed to get out of the hospital he was in. She had to pay him a visit.

But first she had a certain someone she wanted to talk to.

Her hands were shaking a bit when she knocked on very familiar door. Sometime ago she would've just walked in but she realized that she lost that right as soon as she told her those hurtful words.

The door opened, revealing a posh-looking Edith. She was dressed in designer labels and everything about her screamed expensive. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Renesmee but she hadn't closed the door in her face as she expected. "What do you want?"

Renesmee raised her head to look at her ex-best-friend. Her cheek still was bruised a little and Edith's eyes widened when she saw it. At that moment Renesmee realized that Edith was hurting just as much as she was. Minus the depression part, of course.

"We need to talk." Her voice was determined. Edith nodded, stepping aside to let her in but Renesmee shook her head. "Let's go to the park? I have everything ready." She motioned at the car where Anthony was sitting in the driver seat, waiting patiently for the girls.

"Anthony is going with us?" Edith asked in a weak voice. Her mouth had gone dry and she felt her cheeks redden with embarrassment and shame for the times she practically forced herself on him.

"He'll leave us alone while we talk." Renesmee promised with a tentative smile. "Are you game?"

Edith smiled a watery smile. "I'm always game for our picnics."

The ride to the park was awkward but mostly because of Anthony who wasn't sure how he had to act around Edith. He was angry for the things she's said to his sister but it was clear that she was sorry and Anthony always believed in second chances.

They all breathed a collective sigh of relief when they reached the park and the girls giggled. They scrambled out of the car and picked up the things they needed for their picnic. They always ate under the same tree so with a brief wave to Anthony they hurried towards their usual place which was unoccupied as usual.

"First of all, I want to say that I'm sorry." Renesmee started. Edith opened her mouth to talk but she held her hand up. "Just… Let me talk and then I'll listen to you, okay?"

Edith nodded, picking up the cracker and biting into it nervously. Renesmee took in a deep breath and looked away as she talked. "I have depression. I haven't known about it until two weeks ago or so. Everything started when I was twelve. My anger appeared to be a much more serious issue than everyone originally thought.

"When I met Jake… I was happy. Believe me when I say that I was happy. He was the only one person that could make me cheerful because the rest of you seemed keen on annoying me. I blamed you for all bad things that happened to me and… I became bitter…

"Jacob is bipolar. The day when you came back from Italy and we've got into the fight he raped me." Edith gasped in shock, covering her mouth with her hands. She obviously was recalling their later fight and the malicious words she said. Tears were welling up in her eyes but Renesmee continued, looking at something in the distance. "He was in some sort of black out. I think he hadn't even realized what he was doing all the time. I've read about it and apparently he probably doesn't even remember it because of his illness. He's now at the hospital. It was the punishment the court gave him."

Renesmee took in a deep breath, closing her eyes as she barely whispered. "I know who your father is." She opened her eyes and met Edith's hazel irises. Edith looked as if she could break down at any moment but she held herself together, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Mia took me to her home and he came back. They held me against my will by drugging me. He hates my family with passion for something that had happened in High School. Elliot helped me escape… You've probably heard about their deaths."

Edith nodded and whispered. "I've been to their funeral. Anthony looked absolutely crushed and I thought you were so cruel for not attending Mia's funeral. I bet he blames himself now for getting involved with her."

Renesmee half-smiled. "Yeah… I told I'll kick him in the balls if he continues this self-blame fest. He stopped apologizing but he still tries to make up to me. Not that it is a bad thing." She grinned cheekily. "He does _everything _I ask. Why do you think he is here today?"

Edith laughed shortly before getting serious. "Are you done? Because I have a lot to say, too."

"Get started." Renesmee motioned with her hand.

"Caius appeared in my life when I was ten years old. At that time he was just another mom's boyfriend to me. I haven't even realized that he was hitting her because I've spent so much time at your house. I barely even saw him and when I did he was… normal. Nor creepy, not scary – normal.

"He hung around a lot and when I got older I realized that we were somehow alike. When I was twelve I asked my mother about it and she broke down, telling me about how he raped her and how she got pregnant with me. She told me _everything _ about him and begged me not to tell anyone who he was. So I told you only that I was a rape baby.

"After Mia started dating Anthony he stopped coming over much to my and my mother's relief. That's when mom found Joseph and they got married. He provided us safety in more ways than one. I don't know if he knows about Caius but after that I hadn't seen him once." Edith fell silent but Renesmee saw that she wasn't done so she just chewed onto her cracker and mulled over information. She could understand Edith's reasoning but to find out about this from that disgusting person and from this girl were two different things.

"I was so worried about you." Edith confessed. "I noticed that you've changed about when we were twelve and I thought that it was because of the fact that I was a rape baby. I didn't want you to think lesser of me so tried to do _everything _so you would like me. But you've only got angrier and angrier.

"When you started dating Jacob I was so jealous. Not because I didn't have a boyfriend but because you seemed more cheerful around him. I knew you my entire life and I couldn't bring you this happiness. Why was he so special? Why you liked him and not me?

"And then you started changing even more. You became a bitter bitch. You've snapped at everyone. You didn't care about your friends, about your grades, you didn't care about _anything._ Jacob was the only one you put some effort into and even then it seemed somewhat unnatural.

"You've became another person, Rennie. Everything changed about you and after I came back from Italy I thought: _who is this person?_ I couldn't understand what was wrong. I've put so much effort into being your friend and you were apathetic. I was tired of being your friend.

"After you told me you broke up with Jacob I thought that I was getting my Rennie back but it seemed that I only just lost you further. You've offered me a solution when you picked up a fight and I let you. You've hurt me but I knew that it was for the best. If not for you, then for me. I know – it was selfish but when earlier being your friend was as easy as breathing later it started suffocate me. I needed an out and you've offered it.

"I now know that I should have stayed by your side. Should have demanded to know what's wrong. I should have been your friend and maybe then you wouldn't have turned to Mia. You would've had me. I'm sorry for that, Rennie. For not being the friend you needed. I was so hurt when _you _gave up on our friendship that I hadn't realized that I did the same.

"And just so you know. I'm _really _ashamed of the things I told your brother. He must think that I'm just a little girl trying to act all grown up." Edith said, a pretty blush covering her pale cheeks.

Renesmee laughed. "He said it was weird. He said that it was like _I _put my moves on him. He still has nightmares."

They were silent for several moments before they burst out laughing. "You're such a liar!" Edith exclaimed, smacking her arm playfully. "Tell me for real!"

"No, really. I don't know. I don't think he saw you like _that _ until you tried seducing him. Of course, he was still with Mia then so any girl was just a guy with boobs in his mind but I think you've made an impression." Renesmee said with a beautiful smile on her face.

Edith just sat and looked at her in wonder. "I don't think I remember you smiling like this ever."

"Well, I'm happy." Renesmee explained as matter-of-fact. "Besides, I'm using antidepressants so it must help, too."

"I really missed you, Rennie." Edith choked through the tears. Renesmee smiled at her and moved to wrap her arms around her friend's shaking form. Yes, friend's. Because the love for Edith never ceased to exist. Even during her darkest moments.

"I missed you, too." She murmured into her hair. "Let's not fight ever again. I don't like Edith the Bitch very much but I have to tell you, you make an awesome Queen Bee. All bitchy and intimidating."

Edith rolled her eyes at Renesmee's teasing. She couldn't remember the time she's felt so light and happy. At that moment she realized how codependent the two of them were. "We need to work on communication. We can't have any secrets."

Renesmee's eyes widened but she laughed gleefully. "You've pulled the words out of my therapist's mouth!"

Edith mock-gasped in shock. "You've attended therapy?!"

The girls collapsed into giggles, continuing their picnic. They knew that nothing will ever tear them apart from now on. Their friendship was meant to last forever. That's just the way they were meant to be.


	10. Epilogue

**This chapter is not edited. All mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer:** _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. The authors are in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

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><p><strong>Epilogue<strong>

_Renesmee_

He was already waiting for me as I stepped into the garden with my parents behind me. He was dressed up in white clothes, just like the rest of the patients, and looked like an angel, smiling brightly at me.

I didn't care that my father was glaring at him and that he probably wanted me to get over with it as soon as possible. I just ran towards him and wrapped myself around him, breathing in his familiar scent. It was such a long time I've been around him and I was going to take everything I could.

"It's so good to see you, Nessie." He whispered in my hair, oblivious to deathly glares my father was shooting him. I knew that Mom wasn't very comfortable with the idea of me meeting him but she supported me.

Dad cleared his throat so I turned around to glare at him. "Could you not hover around?" Yes, I was rude but he wouldn't listen to me if I asked nicely. Mom had to drag him away, finally leaving me with Jake.

"How have you been doing?" He asked casually. We started walking around the garden that was very beautiful. I think even Nana would be jealous and her garden was pretty impressive.

I laughed. "Not so good actually. You just can't be _fine _after you've been raped." I wasn't trying to make him feel guilty or add to the guilt that already existed but it seemed that it was exactly what I had done because his expression turned into sorrowful.

"You have no idea how sorry I am. I love you so much. The last thing I wanted was to hurt you but… I couldn't control it." He added in a quiet voice. "This isn't an excuse though. Your father is right to hate me."

"I couldn't care less about what my father thinks about my boyfriends." I rolled my eyes. "And just so you know, I forgive you. But I guess, I have to tell you the entire story, don't I?"

So I launched into my sob story. Several times he seemed really angry, fisting his hands by his sides but for the most of the time he listened to me intently, offering sympathy and expressing jealousy when I talked about Nahuel. He was happy when I talked about how much my relationship with Anthony improved but also was sad because he knew that my brother hated him with passion.

"What's happened to that fucker?" Jake asked, trying to maintain his calm. I noticed that he was much better at this. I truly expected him to get into rage fit but he was calm. I was happy that he was getting better.

"He was found by the border of Canada. Overdosed." I explained, recalling the recent news. I have felt so relieved that I almost fainted, making my parents worry unnecessarily.

"I tried to send you a letter with my apology but they hadn't let me." Jacob said suddenly, interrupting the silence that had fallen between us. "Maybe it is better that I got the chance to talk with you face to face. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too." I confessed. "I've dreamt about you but mostly it was nightmares. You've acted like you would never act in real world."

He hadn't asked to elaborate and I didn't. The nightmares were gone now so there was no need to cause him more pain. "How long do you have to be here?"

"Till September. I'm coming back to school then. I could go now but I think it's for the best for me to stay here a bit longer. We'll be in the same class." He smiled wistfully. "But I don't know if I can attend the same school as you."

"Knowing Dad, I'd say that we won't see each other again." I said with an amused smile. For some reason this realization hadn't hurt as much as I thought it would. For Jake, however, it was different.

He grimaced at the possibility and smiled sadly. "Yeah, probably. I just… I've been here and did everything they said in hopes that you'll take me back. That I'll be able to be with you and treat you like a princess you are but I guess I fucked up too much."

I placed my hand on his forearm and felt the familiar tingles. "Hey. Maybe we'll see each other again? World isn't that big, you know."

"Yeah." He forced a smile. "I'm happy that you decided to pay me a visit."

"Jake, I loved you." He winced at my used of past tense. "I cared about you and those things aren't easy to erase. I'm not even trying. You still hold a special place in my heart and I'm going to compare every man with you. I honestly hope that I'll meet you again someday but if I don't, then it's not meant to happen."

"I love you, Nessie." He blurted, looking me in the eye. "I'd like to kiss you but you probably don't-"

I cut him off by standing on my tiptoes and pressing my lips against his briefly. He stared at me shocked but smiled genuinely this time. He pushed his hands into his pockets as I walked away from him backwards. When I reached the stairs to the hospital I waved at him and he waved back.

"How was it?" Mom was instantly by my side as I walked through the door. I looked through the window at the Jacob who was still staring at the door as if waiting for me to reappear.

"Great. We can go now." I answered, leaving Jake behind and leaving behind my first true love. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to experience it again with someone else?

It was a coincidence which annoyed Stacey greatly that my visit was on the same day her birthday party was. Stacey wanted me to attend all activities but she had to suck it up and start the party without me.

I think that the gift Anthony and I gave her made up for it. Anthony wrote her a poetry book and I illustrated every single poem. She loved it.

As soon as we arrived we were met with a bunch of fourteen-year-olds squealing and _having fun_. Lexie and Edith were by my side before Stacey had chance and they dragged me away so we could talk.

Edith's and mine relationship improved greatly. We were even closer than before, sharing every detail of the time we've spent apart. Lexie became out partner-in-crime and even enrolled into our school, saying that it was her 'new start'. Uncle Emmett was very satisfied. It was a good thing that he didn't know what thoughts ran through our minds.

Shelley and Monica joined our trio and the five of us were like royalty of our school. It was a great surprise to me when Monica hooked up with Nahuel and I was happy that we weren't awkward around each other. They were a better couple than Nahuel and I will ever be.

Edith still harbored that silly crush on my brother but she realized that she will never be anything other than 'little sister's best friend' so she joined Lexie and started exploring her promiscuity.

I, however, threw myself into school work. I started volunteering at hospital where I've met a cute guy named Seth but my Dad quickly scared him off. Well, he _was _intern after all and maybe a little too old for me. When Dad told me that in his eyes Seth was like a grandpa to me I asked bitchily who he was to me then. What can I say? While he sulked, Mom laughed.

EJ was surprisingly nice. He was working really hard on getting into my good graces but I knew that it will take a lot of time before I'll be able to trust him like I trust my brother. I knew he was being sincere but he hurt me so much that it was very hard to forgive.

And, of course, Elliot. I've visited his grave once a week and told him about my life. I swear sometimes I've felt as if he was watching me but I quickly shook off that feeling. I mean, he was _dead_.

Everyone was very grateful because if it wasn't for him I would've been dead by now. Nana always gave me her most beautiful flowers to put on his grave and we decided to visit his grave every year when his birthday came. We refused to even mention Mia's name at home and it was okay with us.

After the party was over, Stacey was exhausted. It was only ten in the evening but she had entertained her guests the entire day and decided to call it a night. Lexie and Edith were sleeping over so when everyone left we piled into my room.

It was fun to have a sleepover with girls. I've missed this carelessness and the happiness it brought to me. But for some reason I felt restless when they fell asleep. I decided to go and visit Elliot's grave. The cemetery wasn't very far from home so I walked.

Carney house was burnt down and two bodies were found there. We couldn't find out anymore than that they were identified as Mia and Elliot Carneys. Everything else was still a mystery even though Caius was the main suspect. I guess, it didn't matter seeing as the three of them were dead.

"Thank you." I whispered, staring at the gravestone. _Elliot Francis Carney 1994-2011._ Gosh, he was only seventeen. Young people shouldn't die. Even people like Mia.

"How many times are you going to thank me?" A voice from behind me reached me. I opened my mouth to scream in right but his hand covered my mouth. My heart was beating so loudly that I heard it clearly.

"I'll let you go. Promise me not to scream?" He whispered in my ear. I nodded and he pulled his hand away. I turned around and here he was – Elliot Carney as alive as ever.

"Why are you alive?" I hissed. I was so shocked that the only reaction I could muster was anger. "Do you have _any _idea how miserable I was because I felt so guilty?!"

He smiled crookedly, pushing his hands in his pockets. "Sorry? I've gone to New Orleans to visit my aunt. I don't know why cops said that it was my body."

I was shell shocked. "Holy shit. You've been alive all this time!"

"Yeah…" He scratched the back of his head. "It's kinda weird that people think that you're dead. Well, at least I know that there were many people at my funeral… Or was it only for Mia?"

"I can't believe you're joking right now!" I threw my arms in my air. And then I threw myself at him, hugging the shit out of him. "You're going to my house with me this time." I said, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him away from cemetery.

"Rennie?" He asked. "Wait. I have a question."

"What is it?" I asked, turning around only for him to pull me closer and kiss me passionately. It was a closed-mouth kiss but I saw the fireworks. Holy shit, _I saw the fireworks!_

"Will you go out with me?" He grinned cheekily. And right then I knew that I would never tell him no. Ever. So I went with my usual answer. I rolled my eyes.

_Dear Lord,_

_I don't know what I had done to deserve this but thanks. I mean it._

_Amen._

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><p><strong>So, this is the end folks. I'm sorry for taking such a long time. I swear, this was already written and I was just waiting for my beta to send it back. :) Anyways, I'm glad that I just got it all out in the open. Put me on author alert if you want to hear about my new stories.<strong>

**-G.K.**


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